Just keep swimming...PH #6

[pearlharbr]

Thanks guys. I'm having a real struggle with this as you all can tell.

I think I have decided to attempt a reconciliation and give xBF one last chance. I think the lack of a clear direction is a sign that I'm not ready to simply walk away, even though that's what I wish I could do.

JD and I were talking in the alt, and the upshot of that convo is being able to walk together or walk away with your head held high. That's all I've wanted to do since the beginning. I have serious doubts that xBF and I can overcome our problems but I feel like I owe it to myself to try everything first.

SF will still be there if things don't work out. And I know that I will be ok no matter what happens. For the first time, I even think that I might be willing to have another relationship at some point in the future. But I'm trying to not focus on plan B right now. If I'm going to do this, I really need to give it 100%.

Don't worry, there will still be conditions that must be met and I will NOT let things just lapse back into our old comfortable life. The new Pearl will not settle for that! Of course this is all contingent on seeing if xBF really quit the bowling league like he said he did. If he doesn't go Wed night I will let him know my decision and take that first baby step.

BTW, if anyone can point me in the direction of a thread/link that discusses a transparency plan I would really appreciate it. I obviously will not move forward without one, but not really sure how to structure it.