Kenn, I know it's very difficult right now. I don't know that I have anything to say to make it better, just that I've been there. I certainly understand missing aspects of the relationship and not necessarily the person who used to fill that role.

But as much as I thought I was over xBF I am now seriously considering giving him a second chance, against the advice and wishes of my counselor, my friends and my family. Why? I'm not sure I understand all of it. Mostly because I have shared the past 8.5 years of my life with him. Even though I never made vows, I believed that I was committed to him for better or for worse and this is definitely the worse.

And to paraphrase a book I'm reading, if you leave now while your relationship is at it's lowest point without trying to fix it you will always wonder "what if."

I don't want to imply that everything will be ok, but I do believe in doing everything you can so if you walk away you can hold your head high.

If you love somebody, set them free.
http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g