She says there isn't when I have asked. But I suspect there may have been an emotional affair somewhere in there, though I have no evidence of anything. I just have this feeling from something she said before, but has since denied saying and says I remembered wrong. And of course she used that as an example of how I remember things wrong and twist things around. But I think I remember everything that was said very clearly. But I have no evidence and she denies anything of that sort.
But my IC says from what she has heard of the goings on in my stich from me, she kinda suspects that there is or was someone else.
In my case, I discovered the EA first, and that drove my W to then drop the bomb, etc,
However, my W tried very hard to hide it and continue it - I suspect right up to today. I have found that my sitch seems to ebb and flow with the R with the OM. The more she is thinking about the OM, the more repelled she seems to be by me.
Keep your eyes out and just be aware. I would not threaten her or try to get her to admit so anything, but be aware of the possibility - and also that, from what I have seen in my sitch and elsewhere here, the existence of the OM seems to drive and extend the withdrawal of the spouse. There is no reconciliation so long as OM/OW is still in the picture.
In actuality, the actions you need to take are the same (A or none) - detach (lovingly), stop all pursuit, focus on yourself, make changes and wait and see.
Last edited by Thinker; 04/01/0912:54 AM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
