The adventure continues

[AFWAW]

Well the wife finally dropped my daughter off and tried to engage me in conversation a bit. I've been acting "as if" all day. Kind of laughed about it with the secretary at work. Reminded me of that movie French Kiss where Meg Ryan is told to look just so and act just so. So, I did that all day. Worked out, ate good, felt good, told myself good stuff. All in all, not a horrible day. So back to the convo with the wife. She keeps talking and wanting to engage and I just listen and don't say anything really. Well, I think it bothered her that I was acting as if nothing was wrong or as if because when she left she gave my daughter a hug and I could see her think about it with me but she didn't! So, hopefully I got under her skin a little. Regardless, I feel better.

I asked my daughter how it went. She said that her mom gripped at her a lot about stupid stuff. She said she tried to buy you a movie too. I said yeah, she talked to me about that on the phone. She said yeah, she asked me, does Daddy have this movie? Has he talked about it any? I told my daughter I didn't want her buying me anything at this point. My daughter said yeah, I hear you. Whatever, like I said, I feel better cause I didn't let her get into my emotional phsyce. Off to cook dinner!

[PortlandDad]

AF:
Have you read "The 5 love languages"? If so, what would you say your Ws primary language is, and has it remained consistent through your sitch?

[AFWAW]

No, I have not read it. I would say she is very inconsistent. It varies depending on her mood. Not knowing exactly what the techincal terms are I would say a mix of verbal affirmation and physical affection. The problem is, she doesn't live with me and doesn't want affection and my verbal compliments(which I gave rarely before)are unwelcomed for the most part. All I know is she wants me to leave her alone and does not desire affection from me--too little too late were her exact words. According her the other night, it's been over since Oct? So, I have to act "as if" so that I can hopefully spark interest from her and/or the more probable outcome of moving on.

[Mellenmack]

Seems to me like she reels you in so that she can push you away. I'm seeing that in my own stitch a little.

Hope you enjoyed dinner and that your daughter is feeling better.

Melissa

[SRTTF]

AW

I have been reading up on you and you have been in my thoughts. I haven't posted much. I just wanted to say that it sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too. She doesn't want to let you get too far away because she needs you there in case she changes her mind.

Try not to let that affect you. Keep your mind on yourself and the kids.

Then again like I should talk. I am fighting the urge to txt my H with a small I love you/I miss you.

So maybe you should take anything I say other than I am thinking about you.

[AFWAW]

Thanks guys,
I'm not too worried about my wife coming home ever at this point. She called again this morning--geez. She said I needed to switch a bill to my name cause she's not f$%^ing paying it again. Ok, I said is it really necessary to cuss at me every time you talk to me? At this point, I don't think she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I feel like I've pushed her far enough away with my pursuing that she probably feels like she'll never have a desire to come back. At least that's my thought today. We'll see. Anyway, I feel like I'm still emotionally detached. Do I still think about her though? Yep, I do. It's less emotional though. From my observations now, she's just mean, no love in her at all. Maybe that's her way of making it easier for herself to move on? I don't know. I tried to read her mind for years and she said I should have been able to at times. I'm tired of that and of this. Hope everyone has a good day.

[AFWAW]

Ha, just thought of something. I should have been more considerate and snapped out of this funk the day she told me she was leaving and switched all the bills to my name that very day. I mean come on! First you offer to buy me a movie yesterday and now your pissed because a $20 bill came to you that you could have switched over just like you did your bank account, car insurance, etc. I'm should be the one that's sorry that I caused her some inconvienience, right? Wow, just a little bit anger.