I feel so lost and so tired

[Thinker]

But it is hard to detach completely since detachment is kinda one of the reasons I am where I am right now. And also since she has mentioned that she thinks we have grown even farther apart in these past few months that I have been trying to DB and detach/give her space. But when she said that I was thinking...'wtf...you were the one asking me for space or a separation, but then when you get space, you say we're growing farther apart and use that as another confirmation that we are wrong for each other?' It really feels like I live in a damned if you do,damned if you don't place right now.

Yep, I feel the same way - but realize that it is a mistake. My w said the same things, and I started coming back - and she ran away again almost immediately.

Please remember that you W does not feel the same way she did when she was asking you to be around and pay more attention to her. If she is like mine, right now, any attention from me is actually repulsive.

And what also gets me is that she says that she knows one of her faults is that she does not like going back and fixing things regarding relationships. And I'm thinking that if you know its a fault, then I dont' understand why you won't try to change it.

because if she is like mine, the thought of trying to fix it is inconceivable. In her mind, it can NEVER be fixed.

Are people ever worried that in trying to detach, they get to a place where you are really, really detached. A place where you let yourself get over the other person, maybe because it's easier on yourself emotionally? I have to admit, that is one of my fears and something that I think I would regret one day.

Yes, absolutely. In fact it happens. I have to admit that the more I detach, the more I start thinking that maybe she is not the one for me. I also start noticing other women more. I fight it off, and am in no way ready to move on, and am not going to start anything myself, but I can see it happening if this goes on for months / years.


Stay strong.

Another question. I did not see it in your sitch, but maybe I forget. Is there an OM in the mix?

There very often is -- hidden and not being discovered until later in the process. If not, I hate to cast doubt in your mind, but, it is always better to know.

Take care and stay strong for yourself.