Okay, this is coming from a guy so don't fall down.
I would stop being intimate with him. I used to think that after my W and I were with each other, everything was ok. I was living off of those false sense of securities. It sounds like you are on the fence about the D.
I don't think you guys shold be intimate with him...just because. Heck, we all would love to be held, and kissed. But I realized, being in these forums, that intimacy is not just about having sex. It's about listening, talking and really being involved on an emotional level with your H or W.
Talk to your H about getting some counseling. I think you guys could benefit from that.
There is too much to lose in a D. And it would be sad to get a D and then later find out that there was no A after all.
But if you love him and you're willing to work things out by going to counseling, even after you find out there was an A, then go for it.
I just got a book - Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage.
Like I've read throughout these postings, it takes 2 to make a marriage work, it takes 2 to make a marriage go bad.
