Life is superduper busy. I had a great riding trip to a warmer climate and picked the best week for weather there. I don't want to jinx anything but H has spent a couple nights a week in our bed with me. Adjustment to sleeping with someone again! Some nights when he is extremely late to get home he will send me a txt about it. Adjustment to receive that contact from H, most of the time I reply with a thanks. H has been working his butt off to drum up business for his new business while still keeping up with current old business. No, we have not had a conversation about finances but in our SOP we do it in bits and pieces. I still try to walk that fine line between help/support vs mothering. I can't just sit back to watch him struggle and fail, that's not being a W either! Another horse came in for training after the first one went home when the client ran out of money. We have done more social things together (and had a good time) in the last 3 months than in the last 5 years.
Me - thankful to be busy and have the extra hours at work even though I am salary and don't get OT. Got some bad news about my back aches and pains but hopefully I can get and respond to treatment. Got some good news from my Mom when she gave me an early birthday present. Mom remembered me talking about a cruise being on my todo list when we went out for Valentines Day. Then at a family breakfast we were talking about cruises and she heard me ask H if he would ever go on a cruise with me (it just doesn't appeal to him), and he said no except maybe to Alaska. My Mom gave me a BIG check for me and H to go on a cruise to Alaska, or whatever I would like to do with it. She said it was about time she did something to help. ???
Mostly it feels like H is slowly remembering that I am not the enemy.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I've always felt certain that with my H there would never be any 'aha' or 'light bulb' moment and we would have the fairy tale type moment. H had the light switch moment when he flipped out, but after that he spent a lot of months/years easing out of 'our' life. Now it feels he easing back into it. That's ok with me. Slow and steady wins the race. I just wish I knew where the finish line is!
So NNP, spill. !!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Wow, go away for awhile and stuff starts to happen. I am very happy for you WCW. Business is up, the couch is finally a couch again.......nice. Hope you can continue to grow back together again. I'll check back every once in a while. Make the team proud.
Hey PS, nice to see you. The couch is still dual purpose, don't fast forward too much!
Plenty of frustrating days too, like the last 24 hours. GROWL. It's better if I look at the big picture and not zero on certain things.
H says he won't go on a cruise. No real surprise and I probably shouldn't have asked but I felt that if I didn't it will come up at Easter Dinner with my family. I didn't offer the reason behind why I asked. I'll tuck the money away for now.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Sounds like a good plan. I hope the path stays in a positive trend for you. Some days I hope for a break, some days I'm glad to be away from the sitch. No idea which I would prefer. I hate being in a place of nothing to fight for.
Some days are ok, some days are worse. Will it ever get good or great again??!! or even just be ok for the majority of the time?
One of the things I've been sensing is that H is too 'afraid' of me to initiate any type of healing discussions. He has always been a conflict avoider and thinks if you ignore it long enough it will go away. We just had a hard conversation (involving ow and a bill) that I had to get started, and it ended ok but in typical Venus style I want to talk every detail and H wants to just be done talking about it. He always leaves me wanting more!
I saw this in an email today - W.C. Fields's profound statement "If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
I saw JackThreeBeans told sunshinelewis - If you have 1 shot in a 1,000,000 for the man you love you take it.
Somewhere there is a balance in the middle of that and I just try to keep my bubble in the middle.
Big event coming up for me and I know I can't count on H and I know I am going to be disappointed about him even though I have no expectations. Frustrating!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Believe In Yourself And in your dream though impossible things may seem, Someday, somehow you'll get through to the goal you have in view.
Mountains fall and seas divide before the one who in his stride Takes a hard road day by day sweeping obstacles away.
Believe in yourself and in your plan. Say not - I cannot but, I can. The prizes of life we fail to win, Because we doubt the power within.
As I read the poem, my hesitation disappeared, my confidence restored, I knew it would be all right. I did have a dream, and although, at times it appeared impossible, I set my goal and never lost sight of that end goal. Yes, many times as I worked towards that goal I had setbacks, and faced many challenges.
When I faced those challenges I always remembered the quote: "persistence prevails when all else fails". I never lost focus. I believed I could do it. And, as I reflected on the poem I knew, tomorrow will work out. I have come this far and faced many obstacles and challenges, but I overcame them.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
She said it was about time she did something to help. ???