Sometimes the quiet in the house is so hard to get used to. I am getting better at it, but I am not used to being alone so much. It seems it sends my mind spinning off thinking and over thinking everything.
I am doing ok this week at not contacting H, although I still think about it all the time. H emailed me sunday night saying 'do I want this...' and attached an email. I replied today and said no its ok I don't need it and that I am sorry to hear he has been sick. I didn't expect anything back since I emailed his personal email not his work email. I still don't expect anything to come either. But it is ok.
I guess I keep thinking that I am going away Saturday for 2 weeks and 'normally' he would want to see me before I go although he has not mentioned or contacted this week. I am torn as to whether I would go along with this or not.
Work is going ok but I am not concentrating on it fully as I should be. I also find it incredibly hard to motivate myself to do anything. I have many things I need/want to get done before going away Sat but haven't even started. I think I am just going to write a 'to do' list and try to start working my way down it.
I'm still struggling with sleeping this week. I was doing better but the last 2 weeks have been bad again. I am up too late and then always wake up at 5am and have trouble sleeping the rest of the morning. So one of my goals for this week is to start getting better sleep.
I am trying to detach and let go but am finding this so incredibly hard.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
