I'm hurt to the core. I've put a good fight with my emotions, but you can only be "rejected" for so long, and it gets to you...
I just don't know what to do.
I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. Every day I hope for just a little bit of relief, and every day I inevitably end up in tears, several times, unpredictably.
I keep coming back here because sometimes I find support from someone else who has gone through what I have, and sometimes I find someone who has shared an insight about themselves that I can see within myself.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so down right now, but maybe this might give a small bit of insight. It's a metaphor that my Mom shared with me.
Think of your situation like a bird in a cage. You can flap your wings, crash into the bars, beat yourself senseless, and at the end of the day you're still in the cage, just battered and broken.
Or, you can sit on your swing and sing. Be happy that there's food and water for you, be happy that the cat can't get you, be happy you are not outside in the freezing weather with the other birds. And who knows, maybe that door will open some day. Be strong for when that moment happens.
