I have read a lot of your stitch and most of it is good, but I see one thing that keeps popping up...
You are on the her train and you need to get off and get on the you train!
Just by following her on facebook means that you are still focused on her and not on yourself. You cannot control her actions. You can set your boundaries and if they are crossed you needed to follow through with the consequences. Boundaries are for you and what you can take emotionally. It is just like kids...there are boundaries and when they are crossed there are consequences. Stop following her on facebook....trust me when I say it will make you feel better. I used to follow my wife constantly...then stopped for a week which was tough...then a month...and guess what...I felt a lot better. You can control going to her page...and to control that is better for you.
As far as working together at home.....ignore her unless she comes to you. Shut the door on your office and turn up the radio. Be polite when you have too, but the rest of the time separate yourself. You will be amazed at how fast she will start coming to you to talk about small stuff!
