She is pulling a "pity me" party on you. You are not being mean at all. You are simply standing up for yourself, holding on to boundaries and refusing to be a back up plan.
Yes, one can have a little bit of schadenfreude in regards to the hole she stupidly dug herself into, but no one is celebrating in the long run. The whole thing is so sad.
Next time you talk, make sure to have your right hand up on your cheek at all times so as to block her pity-patter left hook. If the hook gets thrown - you dont necessarily need to counter punch, but simply deflect it.
I wonder how much of that credit card debt is really both of yours - you both are legally married and all assets and liabilities are probably still shared.
