Hey Saffie, K, whoever else said it.. I didnt explain very well. I was never properly ill, it was viruses but the doctors found nothing wrong with me. It was fear and phobias and my behaviours got out of control really, in trying to protect myself, I wasnt fair to him ata all. So I honestly, hand on heart think I put him through too much. Its not that he walked out when I got sick, not at all, its way more complicated.
Hey Mish, GFI.. I really dont think he would agree! Not whilst he is still with her, sadly.
Hey Naej, thanks for that.. I read somehting similiar the day before and nearly posted it, about soulmates. I feel I have shown I am 'ok' about him doing what he has to do, I havent been vengeful of Helen, as I said, more upset that he just wont see me, but yes, I know this is something HE had to do.
Hey Cyrena, thanks again for your wise words!! You made me feel better reading that. I can see you are right.. he is still so lost and interesting perspective that he is enjoying being the victim trapped in a cr*p R with Helen. I dont really understand why he has stayed with her for so long! Cher told me his desk is now next to hers though!! Therefore, still no email from him, but then, I have had such a busy weekend.
Thanks for saying its not my fault and that they rememebr the girl they fell in love with when they come out of this and not the end of the R.. I had an experience today which makes me think you are very right !!
The north node (our 'true destiny') is about to exactly conjunct my Venus (which only happens once every 19 years) and is hugely significant. You can look back to when it last transited the same place about 19 years ago. It was around late May 1990 - when I experienced love at first sight for the first time (and most profoundly) and was exact around 6 June - when we first met for a lunch date and knew we were in love by the end of the hour (this was my first love and a part of me will love him till I die!). I've actually never realised this before! So I've got high hopes! Its exact around now and next week.
So.. I ran into this guy today!!! My Piscean first love. We lived together for 4 1/2 years and split up 15 years ago. My parents were driving me to town and he crossed the road in front of us.. he hasnt changed (I havent seen him for 5 years) heading for his studio - he is an artist and makes bepsoke arty furniture.
All the old feelings were right there, in his eyes.. we were pleased to see each other 5 years ago, affectionate, but in a nostalgic way, it was different this time, it was like a light went on.
He was VERY pleased to see me, hugged me, eyes lit up, said I had freaked him out as he had been thinking of me, going through all the old photos of me just a week or two ago. We chatted for 10 minutes in a very intense way and established, that he and his W separated 5 years ago, they were off and on but he hasnt slept with her for the past 18 months, that I havent slept with my ex in same timeframe, about their house/mortgage, me and my ex's finances, that he wants to come visit me he said "I can hear the sea calling me" (SUCH a piscean, lol!) he then told me he kept all my letters, cards, all the little notes and postits and found them in a box in his loft and went through them just a week or two ago !!! (how strange, for a guy to keep all that yet he got M 12 years ago). I told him I had his in my loft. He said he had been thinking about me, I said I had him. He said, I bet all bad things? Beucase I know to listen and validate now, I paused and said "Why do you say that?" and he said, because I didnt treat you very nicely.. and I am sorry.. I said, and have you changed? And he said, oh yes, absolutely. He said I looked amazing and not 38.
So fellow DBers..I got my heartfelt apology 15 years later!! He had apologised before but not quite as he did today, like he is 41 now and he REALLY regrets how he treated me. He said call me, email me, text me, I will come see you.. he insisted on coming out to the car to shake my parents hand. He was very respectful to them. He said send me an invite to your show, I will come.. he then hugged me more and kissed my cheek and pressed his lips there awhile and whispered in my ear, keep in touch.
So in a unfettered moment of glorious non-DBing BS, I simply texted him 1/2 hour later to say it was lovely to see him and he replied straight away saying speak soon and how I had shocked him but in a nice way!
So.. wierd hey????? The NNode is back where it was when we fell in love, EXACT TODAY !!!!!! The NNode is at 7' 01'' Aquarius at midnight last night (so early this morning)..and my Venus is at 7'07'', so today it was totally exact on it. Come full circle and exact where it was in 1990 when we first fell in love. I am ASTOUNDED. I am an astrologer and I am still shocked!
So now.. I REALLY want to see my current ex and get these papers signed and see how the land lies. The Piscean said his sitch has been rumbling on for the past near 18 months, she left but phones him still now and then (how similiar!!!) and he is sick and tired of it and just wants some resolution now.
I am not saying I want him back and not my ex, or vice versa, I dont know how I feel, except.. WIERDED OUT! lol.
Oh Ali, that is just so amazing, wow, double wow!! Now if I could just remember what I was doing back then??? maybe I might have just such a moment. Ah well a girl can dream. So did you shout stop the car and scramble out to confront/greet him? This sounds so meant to be. I shall watch this space and be a little envious.
Still feel you are making too many excuses for x, but thats just me.
