I love the suggestion too! If I looking to be retaliatory, it would be great. However by DB protocol, I don't think it would improve our R :-).
No further contact from H today and I ignored his e-mails. I was hoping to build on our friendly interactions lately but the D will be a road block. From the beginning I told him I will not contribute to a D and will not aid the process along. I will let things play out how they're going to play out.
It's been another busy day. Unfortunately I'll have no relaxation time this weekend. I'm heading up to Seattle for a medicine class both days - 12 hrs days with driving. At least it will aid in the no contact with my H...
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
Just got back from church tonight - and what do you know?? It's a message on how to close the door to D. He used a funny analogy of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse to talk about the 4 behaviors that can contribute to a D (criticsm, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling) and how to fix them. It also had some good points about the D stats continue to rise with each M etc... It was very informative and entertaining. How I wish my H could have been there!
I am tempted to get a copy and mail it to H overseas - but am unsure of his response. Would this been seen at pursuing behavior?
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
Had a decent weekend. I am continuing to realize how little time I have left before deploying and how much I have to get done... and that's without any kind of legal action with from a D! I wish I could fast forward and know the end result from this mess :-)
No further communication from my H this weekend. I am guessing he's still in game playing mode and is "withholding" any communication until I pick up the D papers. My bet is it lasts until he again asks me to pick up the papers tomorrow. Haha! It's hysterical he believes his game will change my course of action. I hope he realized how silly he's being....
I am very much as peace with everything right now. I have a lot of work to keep me busy and have some fun trips & events to enjoy before deploying. Our M is very important but is completely out of my control and will play out with time. I would love to enjoy everything with my H but am very happy without him also :-)
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
Got a call from H today. He was calling to ask about picking up the D papers and we got into a discussion about them. I won't bore you with the details - but he is frustrated I will not just pick them up. And I continue to validate his frutration and let him know there is a process in place to serve me but I will not contribute to the process by picking them up.
Yuck! He continues to tell me he doesn't want to married to me and wants to move with his life. He says he was foolish and mistaken by getting involved with me. I deal with it better than I used to but it still upsets me. I am trying to cope with the possiblity of a D happening. But I still believe in our M and our future. It's difficult.
Part of me thinks I'm crazy for believing in a M when my H says the things he does.... but it's hard to differentiate between the truth and lies from H. I am beyond knowing what to think and what to do.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
