I was worried that you would think I was calling you those names. I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE THOSE THINGS. I think that you are super smart and have the ability to come off, without meaning to, as those things... possibly out of self protection.
Perhaps your W feels so brazen and justified in looking forward, away from you, because she has felt that in the past. I don't really know. I'm trying to help you see what she might have perceived.
You are suffering greatly, and I am sorry. She is being inconsiderate of your feelings, and she is being foolish. She doesn't have a community of people to help her. She only has her GFs who have been listening to her cry and complain.
You are not a villain. Your W is not a villain. There is a HUGE CHASM between you. When there is space like that, lack of communication, separate sleeping quarters... all kinds of painful, worst-case-scenario assumptions can be made. Give it time, and they build up and up, totalling one huge, tragic MISUNDERSTANDING. Really. It's just a misunderstanding.
Only connection and communication can clear things up. And then you and she can decide if it's too late.
Seems that she is damaging your feelings so much, I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself having a very hard time loving her truly and forever.
Please do not be discouraged. I really am wishing for the sunshine-y future to look like the two of you together as best friends and lovers again.
