I had a thread in newcomers for a while just after I got the bomb in Nov '08, that was a big help in getting through my separation and divorce in January. DB'ing went a long way towards improving my relationship with my XW in a short time, but not enough to save the marriage. The divorce was quick and relatively painless (3 kids, sharing custody). We agreed that it would in our kids' best interest for us to continue living in the same town and try to remain friends, and so far that's been working pretty well. I work regular day hours and she has started working nights bartending, so they are always with one of us and sometimes both of us when we have a meal together or watch a movie together or something.
But now she's got a boyfriend, and she's already brought up the possibility of her moving a couple of times. The BF thing hurts some, but I can appreciate that she waited until after the divorce instead of having an affair. I do still have hope that XW and I will reconcile someday, but for now I am happy with developing our friendship and raising our kids together.
What I am having a hard time dealing with is her selfishness in wanting to move away with our girls so she can get a "fresh start". Our girls are 6, 5, and 2. I think they've seen enough change in the last 4 months without packing up and moving to a new town without their dad! And for my part, I sure as hell don't want to be a part-time father. I've been a crappy husband at times, but I've been a very good dad to my kids and they need me as much as I need them!
Ok, needed to vent a little, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I knew the aftermath of a divorce wasn't going to be all sunshine and lollipops. I guess the reason I'm here is that I would love to talk to some people who are going through or have been through what I am. So please, drop in and say hello! I'll be happy to answer any questions you have, and I'm all ears for any advice or thoughts you might want to share!
Me 30 WAW 28 Married 7, together 10 3 daughters: 6,5,and 2 Bomb dropped: 11/08 Divorced: 1/09
