WAW/Affair Confirmed - Advice? #2

[DCBHM]

I'm not sure the point of all these confrontational conversations with her and also with her mom. She's cheating. You know it and she knows it and you have proof. If you still hope to reconcile, you are going about it wrong. She is out of the house...so now get her out of your life and out of your system. Move forward with your life. Don't bother with anymore confrontations or discussions of a marriage that is dead. That's a cheeseless tunnel. If she decides she wants to try again, it will be for her own reasons, and not because you became allies with her parents, or she was worried of losing custody, or because you guilted her into it.

Well, I have a major decision I was preparing to make in the D, and this conversation was a testing of the waters to see where I stood as far as family support. I have no local family - so I would be reliant upon an alliance with her family to end the A. Since that alliance is not forthcoming, and I tested the waters to see that they were simply enabling her behavior - I'm going to be moving forward in the D.

My hopes for reconciliation are tempered by the false allegations, her using D1 as a pawn, and her affecting my two boys emotional well-being. She 'feels' everything I would imagine the WAW normally feels, but she 'feels' it 100 times as much - so much so that she would be willing to accuse me of sexual abuse of D1 if she thought it would buy her time or hurt me in order to justify her A.

She has a lack of respect of boundaries - she chose the D, yet she wants to make herself at home when she walks into the house.

I believe if she chooses reconciliation at this point - it will be for the wrong reasons and I have no desire to have her back like she is. I have tried on multiple occasions for her to seek therapy, counseling, medical help, etc. and she ignores it and blows me off.

I'm going to attempt to lovingly detach before I grow to hate her. I'm going to protect what feelings I have - but I'm going to be moving on right now.