Coach, that's good advice, but I will suggest that my perception is not skewed (i.e., "pod person"). On the one hand, she'll say something like "if I could take a pill," and on the other she'll get on the phone with her girlfriend 20 minutes later and talk about how excited she is to go to Upstate City and "spend a couple nights in the city" when the only reason to do that -- her girlfriends living in the suburbs -- is to see OM.
And, yes, I have clearly realized 2 possibilities, but I increasingly suspect that the lesser of the two (if you will) is the more likely. Realtors are calling the house with places "she must see now!" She's (deliberately, I think) leaving her email and chat windows open on my computer where I can see the snippy and snide things she says to her friends. And she's trumpeting her status as a Role Model for a girlfriend who "totally should" follow her example as a WAW.
All of that is behavior associated with some other creature who closely resembles my (former) wife in many respects, though this one is also more fit, better-dressed, and recently had botox done.
Yes, I see DBing as a way to enhance myself, and I'm using it that way. And yes, I am serious about making it work. But after 20+ years of studying tactical problems in the field, I know when an objective is more-or-less likely to be taken.
That doesn't mean I'm going to stop, but it does mean that I'm going to be infinitely cautious.
You write that I need to be open to what loving detachment really means. Fair enough -- can you clarify? I've yet to see a solid definition.
