The Bumpy Road to Recovery #2

[Bagheera]

Thanks, DQ and Lucky: the compliments are greatly appreciated, especially when you don't hear such things very often.

Guys, what these women have just demonstrated here is one of those differences between the sexes that while sub-consciously everyone understands, consciously it is often maligned or misunderstood. It goes to something I've mentioned before: that in our species, the females are equipped (mentally and physically) to display themselves and attract potential suitors, while the males are equipped to respond to such displays positively -- whilst fighting among themselves for the dominant male position and the privilege of 'taking' the female.

As such, men tend to be visually (physically) oriented and stimulated when looking for a potential mate or when maintaining the pair-bond with our chosen mate. While a woman's mental attributes (personality, intelligence, etc.) are certainly important, it is her physical attributes which take center stage when it comes to sexual attractiveness and arousal in a man. Because of this, men tend to be a bit 'boiler-plate' in what they find sexy and attractive, although tastes do vary somewhat from culture to culture and man to man.

Women, on the other hand, tend to be holistically (both physically & mentally) oriented and stimulated when looking for a potential mate or when maintaining the pair-bond with their chosen mate. They tend to look for the MAN behind the looks, and if he has the masculinity, intelligence, and personality that they find attractive, then his physical attributes are less important. A more accurate way of thinking about it is that a man's looks become -integrated- into the woman's holistic view of him. Thus a physically ugly man can be considered handsome in a woman's eyes if he has the mental attributes that attract her, while a physically handsome man can be considered ugly in her eyes if he lacks the mental qualities she likes. Because of this, women tend to be quite variable in what they find physically sexy and attractive (because it isn't -just- physical), and there is no set 'boiler-plate' that works for them.

The above difference is why a man will sometimes shake his head in bewilderment when he sees some drop-dead, gorgeous bombshell latched on to some guy like George Burns (short, big-eared and a bit funny looking, but smart, witty, kind, and a gentleman to women). It's also why a woman will belittle men for being "shallow" in their ogling of that bombshell....while at the same time adjusting her dress to show a little more cleavage and pulling out her compact to freshen up her makeup.

-- B.