This guy sounds like a hack. So, your wife essentially abandoned your daughter for 2 months, but will still get custody if she wants it? I wouldn't hire him.
LOL, yeah, I didn't hire him because I don't intend to file unless it's adventageous to me and my sitch. I think he was just trying to be blunt and give me a realistic representation of past cases in the state. I verified what he said on-line under FL law. Isn't that messed up?
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
AW, I'm also in Florida and my attorney -- who specializes in "men's rights" and paternal custody issues -- said it doesn't make any difference who files first here.
Thanks for that. Good to know. I suspected as much but wanted input on this. So, I'll wait to see what happens. For now, I'll go and get fitted for a DB cape.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
This guy sounds like a hack. So, your wife essentially abandoned your daughter for 2 months, but will still get custody if she wants it? I wouldn't hire him.
LOL, yeah, I didn't hire him because I don't intend to file unless it's adventageous to me and my sitch. I think he was just trying to be blunt and give me a realistic representation of past cases in the state. I verified what he said on-line under FL law. Isn't that messed up?
While you always want to see/hear some confidence from your potential atty, I will say that mine told me that Florida was one of the WORST three or four states in the entire country for "men's rights." And the more I hear about other people's sitches on these boards, from GA to TX to even the Northeast, I'm beginning to think he was right.
. . . 4. No more telling her how she said, "I love you and don't want a divorce". (Why is it that DBers are really anxious to "believe none of what they hear" when it's bad stuff, but really ready to believe all of what they hear if it's positive?) . . .
Well, nothing really that significant to report other than conversation I had with the wife when she called to talk to daughter. I was hoping she didn't want to talk to me but it was not to be. She wanted to know again if I intended to put my daughter into daycare this week. I stood my ground and said if D13 wants to stay home this week and relax, I don't have a problem with it. Wife says, D13 says she didn't do anything today. I said, that's funny, she told me she played on the computer, watched tv, ate lunch, read a book, played with dog, etc. I guess talking on the phone is not cool with the wife as my daughter isn't a phone person. Wife says again, so you're not going to put her into daycare? NO. She backed off and asked to speak with daughter again. So, because of the emotional detachment from 2 days ago, I actually had a full nights sleep. I think it would have been easier from the get go if she would have been mean to me. She was mean of course by what she did but acted very nice towards me. I like not seeing her and not speaking with her about her day though--especially if she intends to go through w/ divorce--it makes it a lot easier to cope.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Puppy made me realize something. And something MC said on his thread did, too.
Puppy gave you a wake up call. Unfortunately, he got through to me, too. (Dang you, Puppy!, lol). I haven't really started to DB either. I've come on here, poured out my soul, whined, cried, begged for help, but haven't really done anything to help myself. Almost everything I have posted has been about the stitch, not what I am doing about it.
I thought about it last night. Some of you get DB (I see this in men, mostly) like you get football plays or chess maneuvers. It's like there's a little playbook somewhere that only you guys see! For the rest of us (mostly women, but some men too), we don't get the playbook. We don't even begin to understand...we need play-by-play help or something.
Anyway. I just wanted to put the .02 out there.
Hang in there, John.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
If you guys want a playbook, go read Coach's Film Study thread at the top of Newcomers. That is a great playbook if I ever saw one! He references another thread, from a restored marriage, by a poster called Bowtech. They are my playbooks and Coach and I posted to each other through almost all of last summer. I have come to know his wife through the alternate, too. They are both wonderful people. His wife also posts here now under the name Greek. Check them out.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Glad I could help, Mel. I am better at getting people to realize their NEED for a new gameplan. Others -- like Coach -- have gifts in the area of helping people execute it.
After my successful db'ing I did look at it as a playbook, a plan for myself to get better from the total devistation that my wife laid on me. If my wife noticed a better me and came back then great, if not, hey, I am still a better person for it. Now that all of that is behind me and I continue to work on myself, I have even thanked her for doing this to me, because I am a better man now than I was. (she thinks so too)
I see it as a playbook so much, I cannot help to think of myself as a coach (I played football in college) and when I am trying to help (not so sure I help much) I get frustrated when one of my players, does not execute the plan, because I know the plan works. I then go into coach mode and scream at my computer, do your job! Execute, Execute, Execute!
I have committed myself to becoming a better man regardless of the outcome. Got an inspirational email from one of my friends. Thought I'd share part of it with you. Made me feel good.
We have a saying that is so true for your situation. "GOD may not answer you when you want him to, but he's always right on time". You see just when you think that he's deserted you he comes through. Man I was desperate(in his sitch) and I didn't think he would listen to me but he heard me and answered my prayer. Your wife has got to want to change. If she remains stuck up, continues to harden her heart and refuses to change GOD may remove her from your life completely. That is something you must be prepared to deal with. GOD is not in the business of breaking families up but you'd better be careful of what you wish for. He may have a better woman for you.
Food for thought, food for thought.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
