WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 6

[confusedinpa]

My thoughts are that you are not really "listening and hearing" what she is saying.

Her MAIN focus right now is that she does NOT want you to be coming over to her place to see the kids.

I certainly don't think it is normal for a couple to separate and have one of them have their visitation with the kids at the others place.

My take is to man up and let her go. I think you need to face the fact that the kids are going to have two places to call home for the time being. Are you sure you aren't holding this over HER head as a way to not let go?

I didn't propose that I would visit the kids at her place. I was suggesting that the kids would come over and visit me at the family home where I am staying. It made the most sense to have them visit me and the family home on the weekends as she is in an apartment and I am still in the family home with the yard and all the kids outdoor toys (bike, climber, etc.) I just did not want the kids to have to be "suitcase" kids, where they are carrying their bag back and forth from the 2 homes. I just want them to have 1 home where they sleep every nite to give them some continuity.

So what my latest proposal would be to have them visit me at the family home - she could drop them off and pick them up or I could pick them up and drop them off - on Sat and Sun (8 AM to 8 PM) and 2 nites a week (I would pick them up after school/day care and I could either drop them back off or she could pick them up by 8 PM). My original proposal was for them to stay in the family home and she could take them to visit as much as she wants. She didn't like that either.

The disagreement is that she wants them to stay overnite at my place 50% of the time. I believe its because she doesn't want to lose any "freedom" to do whatever she wants to do.

I'm sure she feels that I'm holding this over her head as a way not to let her go. I don't think I'm doing that, but I think it's a very appropriate challenge gucci.

Thanks for your 2x4