Greg: You are on the roller-coaster, and it isn't as fun as when you were a kid, let me tell you. Your Ws moods are going to swing from high to low, and she is going to try and take you right along with it. Detachment is key to avoid needing dramamine. Detach from her and work on yourself.
ppenton re-posted a great laundry list of things to do/not do as you navigate this. Here's a linky to his list.
Hang in there and keep posting here for support, advice, and a friendly shoulder to cry on. You will also benefit from skimming aorund and reading some other folks' sitches. You will find that lots of folks are in similar places and they have charted out the reefs and shallows: learn by proxy!
Thanks for the link - I printed them out and have them hanging on the fridge now as a daily reminder.
This afternoon the W and I are supposed to go to an appointment together(psychologist - appointment that was made from when she first moved out - we have been going to him for a couple of years) I'm not even sure that she will show up there today. Here's my dilemma now, first I am nervous about going and seeing her, second, I was wondering if I should appoligize for the way that I treated and acted towards her when/if I see her since our split up is based solely upon my actions. I didn't argue fairly with her and did call her names, as bad as it is, I never realized the damage that I was doing to both her and our relationship. Between the reading and counseling that I have been going to, I understand now more of why I did this and now am working on making changes so I do not do this again(in any relationship). I'm just not sure if i should apologize to her now, or wait longer, I realize that even if i do she may not accept the apology because of the hurt that I have caused her. Thank you to everyone so far for your help and support.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
