He wouldn't DARE....ok maybe he would who knows. But hey he is the one who told me about the raise and he could have gone ahead and filed, then asked his boss to hold the raise a few months. Trust me, the beef business is very much and old boys' club, they would do that. I am sure many of his 'friends' at the Kansas City job helped hide his A from me...
So anyway to put it in perspective he was wanting to give me just over 1/3 of his take-home pay per month. I only wanted 1/4. Now, with the raise, the amount he told me he wanted to give me would come out to 1/4-1/5 of his take-home.
Of course, his figuring was so that we would both be getting the same amount of income per month. Which means he would be giving me even more now....but I won't ask for it. I don't even know when he is getting the raise and I didn't marry him for money. He was just out of college making $30K a year when we got married. How depressing, I realized it is 11 years later and I am just now making $30k a year.
Funny, the same happened with us... I supported H through all his carrer moves (not many but very stressful) and he got that job offered to him during the 3 weeks he was back home in Nov 2007. He moved out Nov 17th and started the new job Dec 1st. And his raise was my salary. For a year he has saved more money that we did all the years we were together... Well, let me tell you, he didnt enjoy any of it... Sometimes, people turn out to be stepping stones for people. K
Thanks, Mish. Haven't posted much, not all that much going on...
Nathan had a rough day Tuesday, trouble at school goofing around and then more of the same at karate. I told him if he got pulled aside by the teacher at karate last night, he was out of karate (he got pulled the past 2 times in a row to talk about focusing not goofing off).
Well yesterday he was great! He did well at school, even got a "Way to Go" certificate--kids caught being good get to take them to the office to be entered into a weekly drawing. Then my mom took him to the allergy shot appt. because I had a staff meeting. For Grandma, he was perfect. Didn't even make a peep, she said. The allergy Doc came out and hugged him and said he was proud of him. Then I met up with him and grandma in time for karate. He did an excellent job, knew his form, did his best. Very good night.
Once he got home, he had a coloring book his grandma gave him. It was about all types of homes, with pics of apartments, cabins, houses, etc etc. The last page said to draw the home you would like to have someday. He drew a farmhouse with a front porch with me, him, Sydney, and Dan all there. Sydney and I were petting cows, he was petting a dog and his dad was on a tractor. He said, "Here is where I want to live, on the farm with you and daddy, like you and daddy want, too"
I am eager for his appointment with the counselor on Saturday. I have filled out all the intake paperwork, listing the concerns we have at school and at home. Don't know if Dan is coming to the appointment or not, I told him about it and he said, "We'll see..." I am not bringing it up again I will just take Nathan and if he wants to be a part of it, he can show up.
Anyway the continuing theme for Nathan is wanting us back together, of course. And he told his dad on the phone last night, "I drew a picture of our house on the farm and mommy and Sydney and me and you all live there, just like you want us to..."
Tonight is the school PTA fundraiser carnival. The kids met their reading goal of over 200,000 minutes in 10 days for grades K-3. The librarian dyed her hair pink for the occasion and several of us teachers have pink streaks in our hair, too.
Have a wonderful time at the carnival tonight! Those elementary carnivals and festivals are always so much fun.
I will be curious to see what the counselor has to say. When you said Saturday, did you mean tomorrow? Good for you not reminding Dan or asking him outright again if he is going to Nathan's appointment. I know it will be hard, but please try not to expect him to show up. Selfish mode usually wins out even when they claim they are SO interested in what is going on with their kids. The aliens you know.....
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Dan met us at the carnival last night. I was there with my mom and the kids, them MIL came, then Dan and his Dad came. Once Dan came we all started walking around as a family and our parents left a little bit after that. It was nice to hang out together but a bit annoying that of course we all were together in front of the people of our town (first big community event since last fall's homecoming) and looked like we were just one happy little family.
Anyway counseling is this morning. I told Dan we were leaving here around 9 but the kids would be back in the afternoon if he wanted to hang out with them then. He replied, What do you mean I am going to counseling with you, I told you that...
I said, "Oh, I only remember you saying 'we'll see' but that would be great. What did you think of what I wrote down?"
[I had to fill out forms about what our concerns were and why we were bringing Nathan, I emailed the forms to Dan Wednesday after I filled them out to get his input]
He said he would finish reading it over and let me know. That was at 10 on Friday night! Grr.... two days to read them over and not enough time, yet time for cows, time for work, etc. Didn't really surprise me I guess because that is just how it has always been. We are a little further down the pecking order.
Oh well gotta go get breakfast before we head out. Wish us luck!
So interestingly Dan and I spent the first 30 minutes with the counselor, telling her our concerns for Nathan and our present marital situation. When we got done she said she would take 15 minutes to get to know Nathan and then we would schedule a follow-up next week for him.
Her advice for us??
"I would recommend that you two go and see a marriage counselor. It is very obvious that you still love each other and I think it could help you sort things out....."
Then I met up with him and grandma in time for karate. He did an excellent job, knew his form, did his best. Very good night. 
The librarian dyed her hair pink for the occasion and several of us teachers have pink streaks in our hair, too.