My thoughts would be number 1 or 3 and stay away from number 2. I think if you try number 2 it's going to put your W on the defensive.
Volleydog,
Thanks for the input - my wife wound up jumping in but I wound up covering all 3 throughout the session anyway. I journaled it, so I would be curious how you think it went.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13