I think your ex is in the place my H was in for quite some time, where he realized his affair was only making him miserable and guilty and that he needed to change things, but, still being depressed, almost enjoyed feeling trapped and victimized. He went from being a pretty private guy to thinking that the most interesting thing about him was his agonized feelings about his relationships with OW and me, which became the subject many conversations with friends. He was in full teenage-mode still, in a wierd way almost enjoying the attention his drama gave him--perhaps because people could sympathise with the fact he was in pain without him having to face the hidden pain of his self-image and his childhood issues.
In other words, yes, he's making progress, but the fact he says he's had enough of Helen doesn't mean he's ready to take the next step: face the real reason he left you. Because, sure, you may have been sick a lot, or controlling, or caught up in your own stuff, or any number of things, but you're only half the equation. You didn't cause his feeling that he needed to run, or the apathetic state he'd passed into, or the dreams of corpses--that was all about his own issues. You didn't "fail" or "drive him away"--and equally, if he comes back, you won't need to do anything to "make" it happen. If and when they come out of the tunnel, what they remember is the person they first fell in love with, not the other end of the relationship.
I'm glad to see you're making plans for your future employment--that sounds interesting as well as well-paid! Have you been able to keep up with your fun activities as well? You sound so attractive when you're able to forget about your ex for a while and engage in your-own-life activities!
