What are you doing? Is this really the way you want to live the rest of your life? I am starting to think you enjoy some of this.
"He said to put everything down....all his missed visits, the fact that he doesn't ever ask for extra time even though he is not working, he doesn't check on her during the week, her coming home with flea bites. He even said to put in there the fact that he was charged with assault and battery years ago for hitting a pizza delivery guy. He got probabtion, but it shows his nature. He said he would look at my paperwork and tell me what to get rid of and what to exaggerate, then file on Tuesday."
I have been telling you all along to write it down.. you better have been. It should be easy to produce the list.
"I am terrified. But, I talked to my lawyer friend."
This may get you in "trouble". I can't say this any more clear than this... Get a L. Come hell or high water.. get one. Am I clear enough? The day you got "papers" this became a business transaction.. especially with him asking for 50/50. Don't you dare walk into that court room without one. This is just one of those things you need someone "fighting" for you. Not getting a L you are risking a lot. You need to do this.. and play hard ball. This is your first real chance to draw a line in the sand. Things are just not what they seem like here. If you use your "heart" in this.. I just don't have a good feeling about it. I can only imagine the postings that will come if he gets 50/50. All I can say is he is entitled to it.. but I also think he needs to work a bit harder for it. That sounds a lot like the rest of his life.. does it not?
"I told him that I couldn't believe that after everything he has done, he still wants to hurt me more. I told him that he has his family, leave what's left of mine alone. I said that he wants what he wants when he wants it and if he doesn't get it, he hurts you instead. I told him that K is all I have that he has taken enough from me. I also told him that I tried really hard to have a relationship with him over the last year and let go of my anger so that we could be good parents and work together for K. But, that I was done trying. That if he wanted to have any kind of relationship with me, he would have to be the one to make that happen."
This right here is why you can't do this alone. It is a normal reaction.. but.. something like this could lead a judge to "favor" him. The last thing you want a judge to see.. is you being desperate. They may think you are being vindictive.
I am trying so hard to ride this fine line and still get thru to you. But.. I am not really sure why. I just want you to use your head.. and let it lead some. Everything you are doing right now shows you are off balance(Emotional). This is OK.. and normal.. as long as it does not interfere with what you need to do.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
