It certainly couldn't hurt to ask him. But I wouldn't BEG him -- just lay it out, or -- better yet -- give him the info to read on his own, and see what he says.
I called H tonight to ask him about the program at my church to help us decide if we want to divorce. He was very receptive and didn't hesitate when I asked him if he was willing to go. He said "of course".
He agreed it is a good idea for us to go.
He also said that he went to that same church again he's been going to and this coming week they are going to talk about divorce. This last week they talked about the husband's role in a marriage and the previous week the wife's role in a marriage.
So I went online to the church's website and watched the sermon (about the man's role). Holy Cow!!! It was really really good. Basically the pastor talked about how a man must love his wife like Christ loves us. And lots and lots of other great things.
God is so amazing! I don't know exactly all my H's thoughts and feelings about the sermon, but he's got to be a zombie if didn't stir up something in him.
Maybe that's why he was so receptive about going to this program when I asked him.
Well anyway, he asked me if I would go to church with him this weekend when they are going to talk about divorce. I told him I would.
Now we need to set up a time to meet with the gentleman from my chruch so that we can start this program.
God is great, all the glory goes to Him.
I realize that our marriage is certainly not close to being saved, but I hope that it is at least headed one way or another......
M:36 H:36 M 3 Y T 8 Y No kids Bomb 6/30/08 PA I filed 9/29/09 D final 1/22/2010
Ok, so H finally figured out when he works this weekend. (Duh......) He called tonight to let me know (left a message) and so I called him back to tell him that I'm setting up our first "meeting" up for Sunday.
Of course, he didn't answer......(I didn't leave a message)
It just burns me up inside because I know he's probably with that little girl known as his girlfriend. I want to say bad things about her.....Is it really bad that I would be happy if he breaks her heart???? I know that is very wrong of me, but how can she be doing what she is doing to me????
I'm so tempted to send him a text and say "It's set up for Sunday - and don't bring your girlfriend."
I talked to him last night to ask him when he works and he proceeded to get me into this conversation about God (again). He was going on about Deepak Chopra. He watched that Nightline special about the devil and the panel talking about whether or not the devil is real.
He kept saying that Deepak is so smart, and he read the Bible in Hebrew and has studied all these religions. And on and on about how creation started with a small cell. And beliefs are just insecurities. Oh! How frustrating!!!!
I don't know why I just didn't tell him I couldn't talk.
I'm feeling used again as I have talked with him twice now (the time I asked him to go to this program and then last night). And when we did talk, it wasn't just about the matter at hand - I did chat with him about other stuff. And I wish I hadn't chatted with him as he doesn't deserve to talk to me while he's carrying on with her.
I guess I'm just trying to be civil until we get to this 1st session. If H doesn't agree to the "Promise" then he's a big fat jerk of a H that I don't want.
But here's the question. If he does agree to the promise, there's no way to know for sure he's abiding by the promise. The man that will be leading this said that H will have to answer to him. But I just don't think that's going to happen. I don't think H will feel he has to answer to anyone - it's been all about himself.
But there will be no transparency plan with this program. I guess I intend to reserve that for if and when he tells me that he is ready to work on our marriage.
This program is simply to help him figure out if he wants to work on the marriage.......
I just don't see it going well.
I know I am being negative.
Last edited by Belle; 04/03/0903:34 AM.
M:36 H:36 M 3 Y T 8 Y No kids Bomb 6/30/08 PA I filed 9/29/09 D final 1/22/2010
We are meeting tomorrow afternoon for this first session.
I'm pretty nervous as I just don't know how it's going to go.
H was upset when I told him that we are going to pray.
He said he's not comfortable with that.
I asked him why he's going to church then?
"I wish they would give me time to pray for myself. Why do I have to listen to what the pastor is praying? Those are his prayers"
I said - "you have all the time in the world to pray when you're not at church!!"
Anyway, he's still going to go.
He is really messed up.....
He told me today that he knows something is not right. He doesn't feel good about our situation. He thinks about me and just doesn't feel right. (Duh.....Having an affair is the ultimate "not right".)
But it's been easy for him to avoid it because he is studying all the time. (30 credits per trimester) And he guarantees if he had had 3 months off, this situation would have been dealt with a long time ago.
Whatever happens, I pray that he is truly ready to deal with this and to do what it takes to be a decent, honest, real man.
I know my hopes are optimistic, but I still have them.......
M:36 H:36 M 3 Y T 8 Y No kids Bomb 6/30/08 PA I filed 9/29/09 D final 1/22/2010
