Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

My husband's buisness is his own and he is barely making enough to support himself on his own. I have been supporting us for several years while his business got going.
So I sent my H an email after our fallout at lunch:
H,
I'm sorry I got emotional. I haven't brought up anything "heavy" for a week and I'm sure sorry I did today!

I will be eating lunch at work for now. I will try to stay our of your life and truly be separate as much as I'm able. I won't contact you unless its about the kids/house. I'll pick up the kids after school this week.

I am still willing to be your friend should you want that, but if that's to happen, I expect you would be MY friend too. If we were friends I would hope that you would feel comfortable being open and honest with me about anything-not that you'd have to share everything-but I would hope that comfortableness would be there between us as friends. I would give the same.

I would want to know who you are, would want you to be authentic with me, not shielded ( I feel that if I took you up on your previous offers to see your cell phone or business account now you wouldn't let me-I feel you're protecting yourself from me. You've completely withdrawn from me- I feel without need). I'm certainly not out to hurt you, or make you feel bad. Of all the people in your life, I suspect I am your biggest supporter. I do support you finding yourself, finding happiness and peace.

I have plenty of people to have chitchat/superficial talk with-that's not what I need or want from a close/good friend. The ball is in your court.

-me

Here's his response:
I cannot take any more. We are both living separate lives as much as we are able to. I know its difficult and confusing (it is for me anyway) but I feel like it is what I have to do. I appreciate you recognizing it.
I will always be your friend.

So..my heart was pounding. I suspect his words are much more final sounding than his actions. I'm not sure what he cannot take anymore of. It still sounds like he's in limbo and confused-I'm guessing that stage takes awhile. Do you think having an OW/A prolongs the confusion? I thought it would distract him from the actual work he needs to do.. I hope I didn't go on too much about the friend stuff in my email- I just wanted him to know I still am here(even though I'll be much more distant/dim), but do have needs too. Anyone have any other sggestions for me?
I do appreciate your input Peace and Begginersmind!