Raising the White Flag

[Allen Van]

W was with her S and S wound her up on personal love matters My W and I had during M, now W wants complete legal sep wants money. We have been Sep for almost 4 Y and during Sep we were working on R, however going through the roller coaster ride. I have made a lot of mistakes and screwed it up instead of keeping up with DBing, I slipped, anyhow we made up again however she is not sure and wants a few days.
I know she needs space and I know that if I pressure it will all blow up as it did. I am at a loss there is already tremendous financial pressure on me supporting the separated family as it is now and now if we go through dividing the assets I won’t have the resources to support all the payments W wants.
I suggested to her to read DB and see what she thought, I know I know my mistake, she might read the first chp, anyways now I am giving up and going to let her go and end the R. I rather lose everything I have and start a completely new without any money.
I need your help what do I do?

[Art_Pl]

First thing do not blame yourself. You probably were not perfect but you were working hard on your R for 4 years, right?
Concerning finances I would have an open talk to her, tell her every detail and then decide what to do, sure she does not want to damage you.
If after 4 years she needs more space I would try to see her as little as possible for several months at least.

[dday101798]

Concerning finances I would have an open talk to her, tell her every detail and then decide what to do, sure she does not want to damage you.

I would be leary on this as my STBX 'tells' me she's not out "damage" (can't use her exact word) me and yet everything she's done in court says otherwise. I know everyone sitch is different, but just to let you know from my experience, addressing finances only fueled her fire more.

I mean, we started off with nothing and made a decent life for our family and now it is all gone.

[fitzge]

Go to an attorney and find out what your options are. Your WW will threaten to put you in the poor house. That is not going to happen. Stop listening to her b*llshit, pony up some $$ and find out exactly how much she can expect to get. You will sleep a bit better knowing you aren't going to be crucified.