All: When I said "starting" I meant "starting my half of..."
But that's not what's on my mind at the moment -- man I just had a major backslide!
WAW called just now and was really sad. And she said that this is all her fault and she should just stay and then she'd only have the one problem -- being unhappy married to me -- instead of the dozens of problems she's going to have by leaving and the harm she's going to cause the kids. And I am absolutely confident she wasn't gaming it; she's not that good of an actress, by WAS or any other standards. This is a strong woman who rarely gets upset, so I recognize it when I see it.
And she sounded so sad, it broke my heart. I don't know what happened. Here I was DB'ing my arse off and all of a sudden I felt sorry for her.
So was I surprised to hear myself say, "No, I don't want you to stay and miserable -- I like you too much for that." It was like someone else talking with my mouth!
Now on reflection, I suppose it's true -- I wouldn't want her to be miserable and I certainly wouldn't want to be married to someone who was miserable being married to me, but DAMN I was so caught off-guard by that moment of pure reflection and, I think, first-time awareness of just what she's doing.
