Just keep swimming...PH #6

[Amy M]

((((pearl))))...I hate the confusing state of things that you are in. There's something to be said for knowing your path forward (like I do!).

I have to agree with Sam though...I think xBF went out on a limb to fix the dinner. Given where you two have been in the last few weeks, that took guts to even suggest such a thing. And, you did want to see some effort. I understand your frustration with him, and I certainly am not suggesting for one minute that last night's attempts should sway your decision making one way or the other. I, like Sam, just wanted to point out how that looks from the outside.

Hope you have had a good day!
Amy

[silvagod]

Pearl,

That's good news and bad news to me. All depends what you want for you. How do YOU feel about it all?

There is a definite element of trying on exbf behalf, but who is it for? Putting my cynical hat on for a second, there maybe a bit of selfishness creeping in from him, i.e. I want some of this new pearl but also don't want to lose what I have had for the last few weeks, so will try to squeeze my way in and take a bite out of both cakes.

Right, cynical head off.

My motto is and has been for a long time...'if it feels good, do it!' So in your case, what feels best. All about Pearl, or Pearl and Parnter?

Your call

[Tawnya]

{{{Pearl}}} Yeah, as I've told you before, I don't envy your position at all, it's nice to know, like Amy said, where I'm headed without the indecision of it all!

I think you are smart to take this slowly, no one is rushing your decision making, I mean don't make him wait a month or anything..but LOLOL..and maybe check bowling out tomorrow night and see what's up with that? (snooping me there)

HOW are you today?!

Tawnya

[pearlharbr]

Thanks guys. I'm having a real struggle with this as you all can tell.

I think I have decided to attempt a reconciliation and give xBF one last chance. I think the lack of a clear direction is a sign that I'm not ready to simply walk away, even though that's what I wish I could do.

JD and I were talking in the alt, and the upshot of that convo is being able to walk together or walk away with your head held high. That's all I've wanted to do since the beginning. I have serious doubts that xBF and I can overcome our problems but I feel like I owe it to myself to try everything first.

SF will still be there if things don't work out. And I know that I will be ok no matter what happens. For the first time, I even think that I might be willing to have another relationship at some point in the future. But I'm trying to not focus on plan B right now. If I'm going to do this, I really need to give it 100%.

Don't worry, there will still be conditions that must be met and I will NOT let things just lapse back into our old comfortable life. The new Pearl will not settle for that! Of course this is all contingent on seeing if xBF really quit the bowling league like he said he did. If he doesn't go Wed night I will let him know my decision and take that first baby step.

BTW, if anyone can point me in the direction of a thread/link that discusses a transparency plan I would really appreciate it. I obviously will not move forward without one, but not really sure how to structure it.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Pearl--

I do not know about a transparency plan--as I have not got to this point, so I will leave that to wiser monds (IE Puppy, Phoenix, and Gucci). I just wanted to let you know that I support what ever you decide, but I think the second chance is a good choice, especially as the "new" Pearl.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

PS-- cupcake tip on Tawnya's thread