Congrats an2m! I am so very happy for you. The best of luck to you and your H!!
TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Take each day as it comes w/no expectations of what or how your h should be. Accept him for who he is right now and know that he's trying very hard to return to you completely. Thank him whenever he does something expected and especially "unexpected".
This is the hardest part of the journey....learning to sit quietly and patiently. It will all come together, but he's inching to the finish line. Please do not try to rush him....he's got to get there fully on his own. You've come this far, you can be on the other side of the finish line cheering him on and being there when he does cross. It takes awhile for them to completely cross over.
I know that you can do this. Sit quietly, watch from afar and be patient.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I guess I thought coming "back" would be quicker. duh! He thinks hes made alot of progress. MLC time? Is this par for the course Snodderly?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Yep, MLC time. You have to remember, he moved back home and the ow was still somewhat in the picture. He's paddling as hard as he can and he still needs some time to finish baking.
Yes, N2M, this is the hardest part of the journey. Everyone thinks that once they are home that things will settle down and be peaches and cream again...it takes another 12-18 months before things really do settle down.
The lbs is so happy to have the mlcer back home, that he/she doesn't realize that the real work has begun. The mlcer is still very fragile emotionally and they will test you time and time again to see if you are being true. The guilt eats at them and they will bring up things like, if you'd rather I go, I can, and other such comments. Don't buy into them. In other words, they want to ensure that you are not going to throw all of the mlc crap back into their faces. They want to feel "safe" and know that they are "safe". It's really a very true test of the lbs to see if they can really, really reconcile or not.
DebM and JeanS were the early birds that managed to get their husbands back home. They had to deal with this for about 18 months and then once everything settled down, life was so much better for them.
N2M, if you become overly anxious and push the card too much, he'll flee. You do not want to slow down his progress, then let him be and eventually he will settle down and who knows, may be a new and improved hubby for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
if you'd rather I go, I can, and other such comments.
how did ya know??? i get this all the time...
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
