Need to make changes for me (thread #2)

[Startingover2]

Agreed with Puppy. Why don't you use email to talk about business stuff? No need to have personal conversations. Be the one to initate that.

[vickyd]

H doesn't use email so I will use cell texting.

[vickyd]

Mon 3/30: Ok, holding myself accountable here.

I texted H:
"I really would like to have time to myself. So until u r ready to make final decisions can u pl just text me regarding bldging stuff. Thx for understanding."

He text back: "Ok"

Good?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Bueno!

Does your text messaging service allow you to forward them to yourself via e-mail? It would be good to keep a written record of any dealings.

Puppy

[vickyd]

Yea, I can forward emails to myself. Why do you think having a recrd of the text would be good? I have never been to D court so I'm never really sure how much details the courts get into. My experience with courts is that they are usually cut and dry. Some big picture evidence yes, but details seems to useless in Landlord/Tenant court at least.

[karen43]

Everything Puppy said!!!! Gotta go to bed but I'll check in with you tomorrow. Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yea, I can forward emails to myself. Why do you think having a recrd of the text would be good?

Because judges tend to be fond of EVIDENCE, instead of claims and heresay.

My brother has a saying: "Always be in the superior knowledge position." It's why I save everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

Puppy

[vickyd]

Today 3/31: So far feeling great about my decision and text that I sent to H. I think I need to, NO, I know! I need to do this for myself. The goal today is no contact whatsoever!!!

I'm feeling like I'm sending a strong message to H and I need to whole my part of the agreement, no discussion until final decisions are made. And yes, a part of me is still scared. But scared more so of myself that I will fold. But will try to take it one day at a time I guess. Wish me luck.

[Startingover2]

You know that keeping communications via text/email will help you detach as well. No personal face to face or on the phone stuff will put some distance there. It will also give you a chance to take a breath before you respond.....if you respond.

If your H texts anything that is personal, don't answer. If its business and it can wait....make him wait a few hours or even a day. Take some control back of your own life. Its not a game for him as much as building you back up.

Go check out my thread in Newcomers, even though I am far from a newcomer. I have been at this a really long time and my M is over, but I am working hard on placing boundaries. We have a 1 year old baby together now and its tough. Would love to hear some of your opinions as well.
This is my latest of many threads:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1743698&page=0&fpart=1

[DCBHM]

Yea, I can forward emails to myself. Why do you think having a recrd of the text would be good?

Because judges tend to be fond of EVIDENCE, instead of claims and heresay.

My brother has a saying: "Always be in the superior knowledge position." It's why I save everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

Puppy

I can attest to this. I'm sitting on top of a mountain of evidence while W has her purse and a nasty attitude.