Hey Tawnya...first, let me say that I AM FINE. No harm, no foul. I feel a little played; but I'll do different next time. Because, I know her; they'll be a next time. When she's lonely, she always comes around. I've been immersing myself a little more on this BPD stuff; which my IC thinks she has, and I'm more aware now of what may have occurred this past week.
She's been thinking that I have a GF; so she cleans my house, does my laundry, and says she wants to date again. Readily, because she's convinced me that God is at work in her heart, I agree. But I'm a little wary. I call her bluff, ask her out. We have a great time; but toward the end she asks, "So what hot date did you cancel to go out with me?" I responded, "just giong out with friends. I'm not dating, I'm still married. I did this because if God is wanting you to do; He obviously is leading me to do the same. And so long as we're still married; you have a chance. After the D, not so much."
so my thinking it is the push/pull of the BPD and the fear of abandonment issue at play. She's got an OM; let's say things aren't rosy with OM on Tues.; she wants to date. She and OM get better by Sat.; Now no dating; she's sorry she led me on. BUT, she ascertains that Tom is still there if OM isn't. I hate you/don't leave me. Let's be friends. It's the best for the kids. yada...yada...yada... I hope your Mother will forgive; I really love her and would love to continue to have a R with her. LOL!! Seriously, this was said!
All of the above is purely speculation on my part; but my hunches with her are almost dead on in the past. In fact, she stated Sat. night that I know her the best of anyone else in the world. Maybe that's a liability; but, then again, maybe not.
So Tom has decided, to answer your 1st question Tawnya, that he is not necessarily giving up DB; but not worried about whether or not his M is saved. The stuff I've read in the past 72 hours about BPD has me convinced that the sooner this ends, the better off the kids and I will be. I will have to deal with it as long as we're parenting; but I've found support for that as well.
