Ok, I was initially pissed when I saw this. While you do have some good ideas and good points, I think your sarcasm leaves something to be desired at times and not just in this instance. That interaction with my wife was enough to detach me last night. I am done with my grieving now. So really, while I appreciate your input, please drop the sarcasm.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Ok, she called this morning and I didn't want the phone to wake up my daughter so I answered it. She wanted to know why my daughter wasn't going to daycare this week(it's spring break). I said she didn't want to go and figured she would be fine for a few days of relaxing around the house. She said, shouldn't I have been consulted on this? I said no, as a matter of fact you haven't mentioned anything about her since you've been gone other than being pissed that she hasn't called. For that matter, I think you should be calling her since you're the one that left. She said fine. She wanted to argue some more about daycare but I just listened and didn't say anything. Told her I had to go and get ready for work. Hmmmmm, I can see where this is going. She's feeling bad about not having control over what my daughter does and I'll bet money before this is over she will try to get custody. She'll probably get it too according to the lawyer I spoke with and that's even with my daughter wanting to live with me. We'll see.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Ok, I was initially pissed when I saw this. While you do have some good ideas and good points, I think your sarcasm leaves something to be desired at times and not just in this instance. That interaction with my wife was enough to detach me last night. I am done with my grieving now. So really, while I appreciate your input, please drop the sarcasm.
I'm sorry -- you're absolutely right. I was in a cynical mood yesterday, and shouldn't have taken it out on you.
I don't want to see you dropping DB techniques, because they DO work. They just take an incredible amount of time, and patience.
Puppy, No worries. I was serious about your input, I value it. And while I said I'm done DBing, I probably will be doing them anyway. I honestly don't think it will do much good though. Such an angry person I'm dealing with. She's such a control freak. I never realized it though. Time to quit moping and get some work done at work and around the house. I'll keep you guys posted.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
You know, it is okay to take a break from this DBing stuff sometimes. For a day, a weekend or even a week. She ain't going anywhere, and sometimes you need the mental health break.
I hope you do reconsider trying to DB. Although Puppy can come across pretty crass at times, he really does want to help,and sometimes it is his way of putting things across that hits you upside the head to realize, oh maybe I have not really done very well with these techniques.
I would say that if you would just go 30 days and actually DB, that you would find tremendous results. She is scared about a lot of stuff, she is more scared than you actually. I swear if you go dark, that she will relight the place. This is not just rah rah either, I have been following your sitch very carefully and I can see by her actions (not her words) that she is in a confused state and trying to find happiness and so far she is failing to do so.
I hope you do reconsider trying to DB. Although Puppy can come across pretty crass at times, he really does want to help,and sometimes it is his way of putting things across that hits you upside the head to realize, oh maybe I have not really done very well with these techniques.
No, I really was just trying to be an A$$hole.
Kidding. Just trying to inject some self-deprecating humor.
Agree 100% with SP. I think you and I know I was thinking I was DBing but my focus was still about my W. I started doing real DBing when I realized that my M was probably over so I didn't have to ACT as if it was real. I do know my old M is over, which is a good thing, but I think we may be able to build a new better M.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I would say that if you would just go 30 days and actually DB, that you would find tremendous results. She is scared about a lot of stuff, she is more scared than you actually. I swear if you go dark, that she will relight the place. This is not just rah rah either, I have been following your sitch very carefully and I can see by her actions (not her words) that she is in a confused state and trying to find happiness and so far she is failing to do so.
I will try. I am not optimistic at this point but never the less, I will try. It can't hurt, I guess. I guess I'm not seeing where she is scared. Care to tell me where you see that? It might help me cope better. I do believe that she is confused and I hope that she does NOT find happiness in her current sitch! That may be mean but it's how I feel right now at this point in time.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
