You know, AF, there's another way of looking at this, and it gets to what Puppy was -- in his way -- getting at.

Maybe NOW you've broken from the grieving process and have moved into anger (Kubler-Ross).

That's not a bad place to be. Now you can start DB'ing "for real," because you're out of the "oh please come back" pursuit phase.

Just a thought. If the marriage still matters, it's worth considering. But if you're into survival mode now, then do what you have to do.