New to group--totally lost

[PortlandDad]

Meli,
I am really sorry about your sitch and the reasons that brought you here, but you are definitely in the right place for some world-class advice and commiseration. As you read other folks' threads here, you will find many similarities between the stories and the situations. Find out what has worked, and what hasn't worked for others. It will really open your eyes.

What about you? What do you want out of this relationship? Clearly you are here, and are reading DR, so I'm going to assume that you want to save your marriage. Realize that saving your M is really a by-product of your DB efforts. You need to put all the focus on you and your kids right now. Improve yourself for the sake of improving yourself and being a better mother. The spill-over effect is that you *may* become more attractive to your H when the fog lifts.

Keep posting here and keep reading DR. Work on your GAL activities and keeping a PMA. The roller-coaster is just beginning for you so be strong for you and your kids.