We all have our personal Andes...

[cat03]

Breathe!...breathe again
With every breath you are alive
what the survivors of the Andes told each other when they were about to give up

And life goes on, I signed the D paperwork, he took it to his L on Friday and I guess it will be official sometime in April, I could care less, his cheating/lying/deceiving was the worst, signing those pieces of paper was nothing. What hurts is seeing my d6 sob hard each time she has to go, we went to the C last week and I thought it'd go better but nope, she sobbed harder as I drove off...If I don't see improvement in the next month I will do all I can to have have with me longer, at least until she is 7, if I have to get a guardian at litem, so be it.

I took down my profile at the dating site, I dont' want to waste people times as I dont' want a serious R. Otherwise kids and I are doing great, we go out, do things, have a ball, my house looks better, love my zumba workouts. God has given me peace and lightens my heart when it gets burdened.

Weird thing, as I cleaned up a shed stbx used to use, I found camping stuff, sometime after our breakup in Jan. 08, he was *living* there for a while! he is more of a looser and liar than I thought. Found some other then-ow paintings he made of her... I thought peptobismol all over them would give them a rosy tone, ha ha. The nerve, still storing crap there about her (he will take the rest of his stuff these coming months).

I was very moved to post part of this book about the survivors of the 70's plane crash in the Andes I just read. While all who were rescued picked up their lives where they left off, this survivor had lost his mom and sister--his life would never be the same again...but after all he went through he figured this out:

"...my father told me 'you will have a future, you will live a life'...

I was thinking of the disaster as a horrible mistake, as an unscripted deviation from the happy story of the life I had been promised.
But now I began to understand that my ordeal ..was not an interruption of my real destiny, or a pervertion of what my life was supposed to be.

It simply was my life.

And the future that lay ahead was the only future available to me. To hide from this fact or to live in bitterness and anger would only keep me from living any genuine life at all.

...It was not the life I wanted or expected but I understood that it was my duty now to live that life as richly and as hopefully as I could. I would live with passion and curiosity, I would open myself to the posibilities of life, I would savor every moment."