Day went well. No drinking, no arguing, one sentence about the R - and two sentences about the future. We watched concert, talked in general, catching up with latest family news ( we will be grandparents of a boy in July), no wedding date set for the other son, MIL is ok. d stopped in unexpectedly and he invited her to sit and watch the concert with us - she wanted to but had to study. Later we went to the store and ran into my s - H walked up to him and talked briefly.
The only R thing was -"this is a good day for us isn't it? they should all be like this and probably will now that I am not drinking"
The future talk was near the end of the visit when I mentioned looking at houses in adult communities. He said he wanted to move back in late in the summer but there are things to work out yet - like me needing to see that he is ok over time - and he wants to be able to deal better with my s living with us. But in an adult community that won't be possible. He said he would be happy either way. That's a first.
I was a little nervous at times when approaching subjects that used to set him off. He doesn't want me to avoid things around him. So, he handled everything well. Showed me respect in everything.
I did notice that when I felt some pressure from him, it wasn't really from him - but from me - I still want him to think the way that I think about things and it is ok to have different viewpoints. As a result of processing this thought, the pressure to try to change his mind left and I was fine. I also realized that I still do what I want, he will like it or not, and we will deal with it. New.
