Hey ITH, nice to see you back! So finally.. yes.. I guess I felt a bit odd/disappointed to hear that he said that and I thought, oh, so thats why then, its MY fault? And why didnt he TALK TO ME !? But there is bound to be blame when you leave someone, clearly, you arent happy in the R, there are issues, so I take it on the chin. But thankyou for spotting that it would be bad to just blame myself and not see it in the wider context of his issues and his depression. And yes, maybe he is justifying it to himself?
One thing though, I believe him now when he told me he wasnt interested in her the previous year.. I thikn she fancied him and flirted with him and after splitting with me and being single for 10 months, she did take her chance at the office party. So, I have revised my opinion of that, which would explain why it was so long before he got together with her (but she must have been an EA).
But no, he wasnt in a sound rational place, he was very very depressed and told me Aug 07 before the bomb that he was dreaming of corpses and felt 'dead inside' and worthless.. so clearly, not in a happy place!
I am having a good weekend! And I got very excited... I have been researching phd's and MSc's but I think I have decided to do this PGCE PCET.. and then discovered.. that as I would specialise in IT, or ICT, that is one of the priority shortage subjects and is eligible for a £9000 bursary, and its a 9 month course, so I would get £1k a month to do it!! Plus other bursaries and loans and grants, equivalent of working full time, so I am very excited now and have been appying!! Feel like a future direction is starting to take shape.
