I've read that it takes 3 weeks to become addicted to something.
So you've got to become un-addicted to your addiction.
3 weeks of NC unless it has something MAJOR important to do with V....other than that.
Cold turkey baby....
Then perhaps, if it is meant to be, you may see some changes in him, but for sure you will see the changes in you and you will love it.
You need to be free from him Kiki, and right now you depend on him for so many things, just like I do with my x....and that is so not healthy for either of us.
Take care of your business first.
Take care of you first.
You can find the will....it's there, but in any addiction you have to reach "rock bottom" before you can find the will.....dont'cha think yesterday was rock bottom??
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Jeannette, Kiki, I think you have misunderstood me. Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I was not suggesting it is ok to be abused. I am all for healthy boundaries, and all for doing something different. One can be kind while still setting healthy boundaries and doing something different. Ok, that's all I will say
Kiki Jeanette is right ..when we have kids with them it is a forever sentence for us to deal with them It is a NO win situation for most of us they will not come back they are spinning and they have the ability to justift their actions they do not tkae the high road and they are ok with it we have tried you have been graceful and strong throughout this I think for my self..where is the line I know when I am pleasant to XH, he is more cooperative the line has to be where we are pleasant, but detached so we dont get sucked back in If XH was not coming back ever and I knew that What would I do What would my boundries be THats probably the answer
Whatever amount of energy we would want to give our WAS if we KNEW for sure they would NEVER return the amount of energy that allows for a brief CO_Parenting interaction
wish the CO parent Well and move into my life creating exactly what I want I think that is mY answer for today thanks good luck Kiki peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Can the school send him a bill for half and you the other half? Just a thought and then he would not be able to attempt to manipulate, etc.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
They have and he just ignores it. Right now they are taking it out of my paycheck. He agreed to it... but whenever I go dark..it backfires on me and he does this. Gets angry.
That is just so juvenile.. I would do anything not to reinforce that type of manipulative behavior.
That would eventually drive anyone nuts.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
For instance me being 'nice' and Jeanette being 'nice' are two totally different things.
About the payment for school coming out fo your paycheck...have you exhausted all options and ideas regarding fixing or correcting this?
Beyond that... you could show him exactly what 'not being nice' actually means to give him a a comparison.
'Someone keyed your car, slashes your tires AND smeared vasoline all over all your car windows? Wow, that's not very nice.' (Edit - I totally understand why you cannot pay half our child's schhol tution this month) : )
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 03/30/0904:09 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Jack, being nice is soooo hard. But it is in me . Now, I like your ideas.
Today, H picked up D7 from school. Here we go again.
He had texted last week about D8's tooth.. I called dentist and she fit her in today. I texted H this morning about it.
When he got to school, I asked him if he got my text. Of course, no.
I said D8 has a dentist appointment today at 4. Boy, did H have a fit.
He said How come I gave him short notice..how about his plans ..I said What plans..H answered None of your business.
He said it s unfair. I reminded him he was the one wanting to take her to the dentist. Then he started saying he had no money to pay it(yeah right)
I said H you have responsibility you can't party and have fun all the time.
He didnt like that.
He told me to go to hell..in front of d8. I said thats nice, D8 heard him say go to hell.
I was calm through it all.I told him he has to take care of D8 too.
he said F@@@ you. I said that's nice.
Later, I texted him that it was uncalled for, one of my parents heard him.
He said..He didn't care if the principal heard him. He is tired of me saying he does not take care of d8. THe parent should have not been a coward and said something to him. He is sick of this p@@sy bullsh@@. Now he is getting real mad.
I did not respond.
Later he texted..the appt. was made yes. I could of given him a heads up
I did not respond.
He then texted D8 got her tooth pulled. She called me and explained what happened. I couldn't understand what she said about a bubble on her tooth. So H got on the phone.I asked him about it and that was that.
See, I decide to back off, and he becomes so unreasonable. He is a martyr in his eyes. I am such a witch too.
