Starting, I can't say that you are telling a lie. H does know how I feel about him and he uses that. I just wish that this was easier. I'm 31 and this is truly my first heart break (H and I got together when I was 16) so I guess that's what makes it harder for me to release and let go. I am trying to move on, honestly I am. I just hate that I get sucked in so easily. My Imother says that I'm learning a hard life lesson and I guess so. I've actually been considering doing the divorce and stop prolonging the agony. But I go back and forth with that. Then I think about starting to date in hopes that having someone else in my life I wouldn't care what the hell H does. But I go back and forth with that too.
By the way, I forgot to anser your question, H and I have been separated since Sept. 08.
Also, based on his actions, I do think H has made up his mind that he wants to be there with OW. But I also think he wants to keep me waiting for what if. He knows that OW isn't the marrying type-- actually, I don't know anymore what he knows, so I really need to stop speculating.
Thanks for the advice and 2x4. It truly is needed. So, I'm starting over again too. Trying to reclaim my sanity from today. New week, new month. Please pray for me. Thanks.
