Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

Hi Peace,
I think I've had a similar philosophy. After my H left, I analyzed and read a zillion books. I figured out how our relationship was dysfunctional(both of us avoiding conflict) and stuck in a rut(forgetting to be thankful/appreciative), etc. So I feel like distancing is removing support, but I do think it may help my H see/feel what I have been providing, once its not so available.
The other obstacle for me is the OW. I'm fearful that once I'm not as available, my H will go to the OW for what he's missing-he already goes there for the sex. She's not fully available to him either, since she has her two young children every other week. My H feels strongly he shouldn't become a part of her children's lives unless they are in a committed/longterm relationship. I guess I won't know when if/that happens though. I doubt he'll tell me. He isn't sharing much with me except mundane details of his daily life and who knows if its the full truth.. He still has got one foot in and foot out the door. He has left some clothes here at our home. He hasn't told his family that we're separated(now almost 3 months)-just that he's depressed and on antidepressants. I guess, as always, one day at a time.
By the way-since my library here is lae ad there are NO books on MLC..what is the difference between a WAS and a spouse going through MLC?