Second outing was quite different from first outing.
WAW arrived an hour into Second Outing, back from function with Divorced Friend.
Divorced Friend has connected WAW with Divorced Friend's Realtor -- Divorced Realtor who Specializes in WAWs -- because Divorced Friend "Just Knows" that Divorced Realtor -- who will so totally understand that WAW is in that "really hard" early stage of D -- will find WAW a Totally Awesome place that will help heal WAW's life.
I was outside talking with a very cool elderly gent who was telling tales about growing up in a tenement in NYC, with surgically-enhanced divorcee in attendance, much to my surprise. Turns out SED and I were born 12 days apart, go figure.
Anyway, WAW arrives, seemingly happy, starts chatting with the ladies. I go inside, greet her, ask how event was, then start conversation with another guy. And so it goes.
Over the course of the evening, tho, WAW's physical attitude manifests observable changes. Avoidance. When it comes to pass that we are seated near each other at table -- 5 couples, surprise, they sit with each other -- WAW ensures that her back is always partly towards me. And though we've chatted amicably during the evening, that all stops.
At the risk of over-thinking here, I think (sorry, Puppy) that it was being in a home, in the presence of these other outwardly happy couples that did it.
For one, the host couple are crazy-happy with each other -- unbelievably, T.V.-movie-like happy. And the cool elderly guy with his wife of 52 years (rock on, dude!) was still obviously in love with her, despite ups and downs (by her admission), war, sickness, poorer, richness, and health, and she was with him.
For two, they live in a neighborhood with there are lots of kids on the cul-de-sac, and other adults just come into your house with a bottle of wine (as happened later in the evening) to join the fun.
[WAW chose us a house -- big, elegant -- in a neighborhood where all the kids had grown and moved away, so we're just us here. SP didn't want the house, b.t.w, which has been a regular source of tension in the marriage during what WAW says were its declining years. SP liked the old house -- small, cramped as it was -- because it was in a neighborhood like the above.]
So WAW definitely cools out but still I chat with others, smile, and am generally a pleasant fellow. (And Sara, Sandi, and Lucky -- despite my having said "never" many, many years ago (during the Polo cologne craze of '84) I even put some smell-see-sh*t on, just to put her off her game.)
Evening ends, we collect the children, and off to the house in our respective vehicles.
I put S to bed, she put D to bed, I wished WAW a good sleep and retreated to the guest bedroom, which has become SP's Fortress of Solitude.
Or would, if I weren't constantly worried that WAW is going to bust in again. I guess modeling good behavior by knocking on the door of the (MY) master bedroom just isn't having the desired effect....
I spoke briefly with WAW this morning: How'd you sleep? Have a nice workout. And then dealt with the dog's pressing need to find a spot of grass to ruin.
Now betwixt you DB'ers and me: WAW keeps saying that she's consumed with guilt over the children, and I believe her. She keeps saying how bad she feels that she's ruining lives (her words, mind you), and I believe she does feel bad. She keeps reiterating how unhappy she is with what's happening, and I'm inclined to believe her (though I'm willing to believe there's some lilly-gilding there, too).
So why on earth does she continue to suggest that this is an either-or proposition -- either be married and miserable or divorced and free and miserable but in a position to be happy?
Though I don't bring it up, why is it that this otherwise brainy woman can't see that there is a Third Way -- stay married, work hard at it, and achieve happiness within marriage? If the work doesn't "work," there's always divorce, right? I mean, if you're that miserable now, why not accept the misery but at least have a go at seeing whether MC, Retro, etc., can end the misery within the marriage?
Pod person. Fogged-out alien pod person. And as I think about pod persons, someone correct me if I'm wrong -- don't they prevail in the movie?
divorcee in attendance, much to my surprise. Turns out SED and I were born 12 days apart, go figure.
