BUNS, ABS, AND HEART OF STEEL PART 2

[TRUSTING]

Thanks Cagz, and So,

I had real quick moments of pain last night, but then I remembered this was his choice and this is what he wanted - no family and other woman.

He is pushing off all his responsibility regarding my son going to college. My son is leaving in August for college in Florida. He is telling son that I will be paying for his college. He is not helping one bit. I know he is just trying to get to me. I will make it work somehow......

My daughter told me yesterday that my ex let OW take my 4 year-old to the library while he took my oldest daughter to buy my birthday present. She probably did not want to be a part of that - I'm sure, but the fact that she was responsible for my precious baby makes me want to puke. I just had to say a little prayer for all my kids for this pathetic situation and I will trust GOD to protect me and the kids. Thats all we can do....

Just a little note, I love you guys. I love that I found all of you and we are helping each other make it through this. We will all be blessed eventually and everything we have lost will be returned to us. Trust....

[peacetoday]

T
yes you are right
all that was lost will be made right
in the best and highest way according to Gods plan

Happy Birthday T
You continue to be a source of strength and inspiration for all of us
peace

[cagzmom]

oh t-- you know with all my heart that I feel as though we have met face to face. we all have a special bond....and i can not wait till we are over the mountain and on the other side.

[TRUSTING]

One day I hope we are all over that big mountain. What a feeling that will be, such a burden lifted off our shoulders.

To be in love again some day, with someone that can actually love you back....

Do any of you wonder if your ML'er ever really did love you?

[naej]

Hi Trusting,
you can put me on that list, I think many,many of us wonder and yet how can they fake it for years and years in my case over 30?

Do any of you wonder if your ML'er ever really did love you?

My head tells me this is rubbish, but the heart still questions it maybe because they just change and lie so much we don't know them at all.

[peacetoday]

T
I think they loved us
and one day they will regret it
but never say
T yours already said it many times..his regret
he just cant fix it or figure his way out of the messpeace

[cagzmom]

Are you kidding me T-- all the time.
And I now I am wondering if they are capable of "REAL" authentic love... I just don't know.

I agree with Peace--- I believe they loved the best they could...but see to love completely you have to be selfless... and when push came to shove...when it came to crunch time and they started getting MLC in the head... tehy CHOSE themselves over us. AND THAT is not authentic love.

I have a friend who's husband has parelled my x in his mlc. TOTALLY THE SAME in so many ways -- but ONE--- he hasn't bailed on his committment. I truly believe he has been in a mlc the past few years-- but HE CHOOSES to stay in his marriage.

They are a mess -- and they were running from themselves... I do believe they loved --- I just think they loved themselves more. (think about the Bible T-- it says that even sin brings pleasure but for a season....-- they wanted that SEASON -- got stuck in it...and stayed.)

[TRUSTING]

I guess I think my ex loved me at one time to the best of his ability.

When you don't love god and love yourself, I do not think you can have unconditional love for anyone.

[LL44]

I guess I think my ex loved me at one time to the best of his ability.

This is how I feel. I also feel he did everything he thought he could do to 'save' our marriage, to the best of his ability. His affair was his way of giving up, his escape.

[TRUSTING]

The biggest disappointment in this whole mess is that ex was not what I thought he was.

I know that we are all human, but never in my worst nightmares would I have guessed that ex was capable of what he has done.

Yes, yes I know they are ill, but they did things to get themselves to that point, i.e. mine did not take care of himself, had poor stress management, never took time to heal from his mother's death, etc...

This is where forgiveness comes in.......

For the time being I have just decided that I am going to love ex no matter what, but from a distance.

I do love him.

I always will.

Nothing will take that away from me. Not OW, money, sickness, etc...

This has given me so much peace.

I don't need ex to love me. I would like him to, but I don't need him to love me. God loves me, that is good enough.