Everything is still great with me, the job is still great fun to go to every day, the weather (now and again) is getting better, S23 is a step closer to getting a job. My weekends are still fun filled and enjoyable.
Only fly in the oitment is MIL. She is in hospital today for test to sort out what the problem actually is. I'm hoping that W tells one of my boys and that they can tell me. I can't speak to MIL about it, as she hides the truth to save me from worrying!
On a side note, it was W's birthday on Saturday. First time in 26 years that she hasn't got a card from me. Couldn't bring myself to buy one, wouldn't have been right or meaningful. I feel fine with that though. I have noticed also that on the friends reunited website (find old school mates in the UK) her profile has changed from seperated to single at some point last week. That maybe because of her 'snooping'.
She checked out my page in the alt by setting up her own, adding S23 as a friend so she could see what I was saying (my profile on there is private, but S23 was talking to my new 'friend' on his page). I think she probably found more than she was looking for as her own page was deleted a day later and her status on the ols schools one changed. (I don't look at it, but the site emails me on friends updates, so I received a mail about it).
A large part of me feels good that she is looking and finding out and maybe regretting things (vengeance), another part is sad that she just doesn't ask me (I would be honest as always and tell her). Whatever is going on though, I am now at a point where I would NOT have her back in my life anymore. She has said and done things so far this year to kill off any remaining love that I had for her. She is, to me, just the mother of my sons.
It's a place I never ever thought I would get to, or be happy to be in. I have and am though, and I am thankful to my friends on here and the support and techniques for self discovery that I have received from here and other places.
To anyone else reading this, who is maybe just embarking on the journey...never say never. Follow your insincts, but whatever happens, be true to yourself.
{{Silva}} Yeah please keep us updated on your MIL..I know that has to be worrying you and stinks you really can't just GO to the hospital and/or call her up and find out..argh..that stuff is annoying!! I have to say, one think I was laughing with D18 about is that I ACTUALLY have a better relationship with my inlaws NOW, we keep up in the alt, than I EVER did while I was married..LOL..go figure that one out?! Probably because they feel a bit bad for me..I dunno..
Anyway..I hear what you are saying about not taking back the spouse because I feel the same way. Pearl and I were talking about that just last night and I told her "If my hub came over, cooked me dinner, brought flowers, or whatever, it wouldn't make a difference to me, because he's done too much, I know too much, and I, for myself, could NOT go back to what that was and I'm 1000 times happier now.." But, at the same time, you are right..everyone's sitch is different and no ONE but you knows what is right for your sitch..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Wow, your W is so avoidant. Why doesn't she just ask you what is going on or what do you want with the M status. I am such an upfront person, I wouldn't dream of doing anything without talking first - even if I didn't like the topic or the answers.
It seems like she is hiding something. Anyway, I wasn't sure you would get to this place either, but I am glad you are happy now. Ever since you "found" yourself again, you have been happy here.
Well thanks again people for your listening and caring...
MIL went in for tests today, not heard anything from anyone yet, so will have to wait and see.
SO2, avoidant is an understatement. Reading between the lines, I feel now like I have felt all along, that my W wanted to 'test the waters' of being single again and see what life was like on the other side. Problem for her is, she is now stuck over there with no way back. What I do MUST be affecting her or she wouldn't be snooping. I strongly suspect that her 'friend' that she was so fervently texting has now drifted away and she only has BFF left. Well, they cooked this little pot together, so they can drink out of it for the rest of their lives. Idiots.
Some people don't realise what they had until they lose it, then they want it back. I am not saying that my W wants me back (she is too stubborn to admit it anyway) but there is certainly an element of 'what is he doing now, has he got someone else, what about me?' in her actions. Don't know about the words as I don't hear from her.
My life though, is pretty peachy. I am happier than I have been for many years and so totally at ease with who I am and what I want that I feel relaxed. I just need to sort out the finances now, but I am onlny one step away from the rest of the world in being almost bankrupt, so that is not a great worry either. Or at least I won't let it affect me too much.
I will try to get onto all your threads soon and make a comment or 6. Bear with me, this RL is getting in the way! :P
Just had S21 round for a visit..he is close to his Mum and visits often...MIL apparently has a growth on her lung, not sure what it is yet, but if it's the C, then MIL will refuse treatment. FIL died of lung cancer 10 years ago. I hope she is ok. I sent a card to her with S21 tonight.
Right, more news...chuckle time...
Anyone that has followed my sitch will know of the 'very' close relationship between W and BFF and the 'cloning' they have been doing (more W following BFF). Anyway, I have now been informed that BFF has left her H and has her own flat in the same town as W!! S21 thought it was funny and wonders how long before they move in together. I thought that too.
How the worm has turned. Oh dear.
Please don't feel sorry or upset for me, I know I am a man's man and if my W has 'gone over the edge' and starts to live with BFF, then she will alienate many if not all of her past life! I find it rather amusing, strangely. :P
Well, you know that she took the risk and now has to live with the consequences. M is not a game, R are not a game. On the other hand, I am not sure what you are suggesting about your W and BFF but could it be that she is finding herself too? My BFM discovered himself after his M broke up. Fun ny thing is that his exw tried the same thing out for awhile too. Very weird.
Keep us informed about everyone's health at this point - sounds like a lot is going on. How are you managing?
S21 thought it was funny and wonders how long before they move in together. I thought that too.