Stress, WAW and life in general II

[AJM]

I appreciate that. It's hard to find encouragement these days.

Today's the day we go away for the night. I don't have high expectations, but I'll keep an open mind and a positive attitude as much as I can manage.

UPDATE:
Yesterday was interesting. Was working in the yard and saw her come up the street. She came over and started talking to me about her run and her week. She talked to me for about an hour. Really at me, but it was a pleasant conversation just the same. Tells me about her week and how stressful it was and how little sleep she got. How glad she is it's over. You would have been proud of me - I just validated the difficulty of the week. Asked a few questions. Was interesting. Reminded me we were going away Sunday. She heads in and then is very distant the rest of the day.

Goes to son's hockey game, but is texting the whole time (distracted) and leaves early to meet friends. No biggie, she likely could use some sort of break.

I had written on the calendar in the morning, that she was headed out at night (W out @ night is what I wrote). We keep track of such things on the family calendar so that everyone knows where we are. She just hadn't written it in, so I put it on there without really thinking about it. I guess I hadn't written that I'd be out the night prior. She did. Wrote it in arrears. Not sure what that is about. I don't go back and write things in that already happened, so it seems odd to me, but wondering if I offended or something. I'll leave it be but if anyone has a suggestion...

Haven't seen W yet this morning. Will be dark for a while as there will be no electronics with us for the overnight. At least, that's the promise she made.

We get back tomorrow afternoon and then the following day she goes to the MC. She asked to go by herself. I've been told that's normal. It's unnerving at first, but not something I have a choice in anyway. Then she heads out with an old friend that night. I guess I'll see her sometime in April

I've decided that if I get wound up about things that I'm giving her control of the relationship. Of my emotions. I can't do that any longer. Not to the extent I have been because it wreaks havoc on my PMA and well-being. She shows signs of wondering why I encourage her to be out. To go out with running buddies, friends, etc. I think I'll keep that one as a worthwhile 180. I think I'll keep the detached emotions for times when she tries to push me to a fight as a worthwhile 180 as well. I refuse to get in a fight this weekend as well. I'll try really hard to not talk about R as well.

Peace,
AJ