WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 6

[confusedinpa]

It was a fun time at soccer. My oldest scored several goals and my youngest and I practiced passing during the game. My wife seemed to enjoy herself as she was taking pictures. We did chat and laugh.

We got home and we all worked together very well to get the house in order for my mom's visit. We got done before lunch. I asked my wife to bring her Ipod out so we can listen to some tunes. My wife sat in the family room as the kids were climbing on me when I was laying on the floor. We were all laughing and having a great time.

One time my wife started to tickle my youngest who called me for help. I went over to "help" when my wife then "attacked" me. I started tickling her and we "wrestled" for a bit. I let her knock me over and she jokingly gloated in her victory

The kids and I kept wrestling and I started doing push ups with my kids laying on my back. Suddenly my wife jumped and laid on top of me and "dared" me to do a push up. Before I could even start, the boys jumped on top and it suddenly became pile on daddy time.

We all laughed and had a great time. We had lunch and I put my 3 year old to bed for his nap. My mom showed up with my 2 aunts for the visit. There was no conversation of the situation as we all just chatted and they enjoyed visiting with our kids. Especially when my youngest woke up from his nap

My wife wound going out to pick up dinner and that's when my mom talked to me. Aparently my wife called her up last week when I was in CT and told her that we are having a tough time but was still trying to work it out. She said my wife was crying. My aunt then joined the conversation. I asked both of them to respect us enough to just support us in whatever happens in our situation. Just show us their love in their prayers and support

When my wife got home with the food, we ate. After dinner I noticed my aunt and wife had disappeared. I went up and found my wife in tears as my aunt was "lecturing" her. I stood up for my wife and gave her the show us her love by respecting us regardless of what happens in our situation

My aunt left the room and I stayed with my wife to comfort her. She vented about being lectured to and how hurt she was that my aunt did that. I tried to be compassionate and said I understood and asked if there was anything to do. I hugged her and she cried on my shoulder.

She said that she needed to compose herself before she went back downstairs. I told her I understand and asked if there was anything I can do. She said I should go downstairs as she felt weird that there was guests in the house and we were both upstairs

I went downstairs and my aunt asked if everything was ok. I told her I know she was trying to help but to please respect us enough to just be there and include us in their prayers through this situation. They left before my wife came back down

I went up to chack on my wife. She was in the spare bedroom. I knocked and she invited me to sit on the bed. She layed there as she vented about how mad she was and hurt that my aunt was telling her what to do. I empathized and comforted her. She said that she was still hurt from the past. I told her how I understood, and how I wished I never did any of the things that hurt her and if there was anything I can do to make her feel better. She said she doesn't know.

Suddenly, the heart of the problem clear to me. She is still hurting. She doesn't know how to recover from all the hurt and its still painful for her.

I kept hugging her as she vented and cried on my shoulder about how my aunt made her feel. I empathized by saying I understand when I felt a knot on her back. I asked her if she wanted me to massage it. She said yes. I did for a while when the kids called for us

I went downstairs as my wife changed into her PJ's.

She got downstairs and I poured her a martini. We finished cleaning and put the kids to bed after watching a video

We stayed up to watch a couple of sitcoms. She asked for a foot/leg massage. I did as she continued to vent about my aunt's lecture. She did say she really appreciated how I stood up for her and it really meant a lot to her. I thanked her. I wanted to lean over and kiss her but I didn't. She continued to rest her legs on my lap as we chatted lightly. Every once in a while she would vent about something my aunt or mom said to her about our situation. I tried to be compassionate and empathized how difficult it must be.

After a couple of shows, she said she was going to bed. Before she went to upstairs, she came over for a hug. I hugged her and when I tried to break away, she hung on. I hugged her back for a while. I didn't want to stop, but I broke away and gave her a kiss on the check

Tonite was the first nite in a while where I got any indication from my wife that she thinks there may be a chance that a separation may actually help save our relationship.

It was a tough ending to an otherwise very fun day