Get a DB coach asap b/c they're totally worth it. If I could only do one of the many things I did to help my m, it would be that. They were specific and timely and comparatively, not that pricey. I got a pkg of 3 and per hour, it was about the same where I live.
The coffee? Um, sorry, but so what? It was a polite gesture. I mean, was there a note saying "I"m sorry for being such an ass. Now I get it. I LOVE YOU and I'm IN LOVE WITH YOU"? No offense, but big deal. Say "thanks" and mean it, and let it go...better yet, drink it. Enjoy!! That's it. Stop reading into this stuff. Why? Because it confuses you, obviously and slows your progress. So he got all the kids gifts and got you a little something too (and honey, it wasn't a pearl necklace)...
You'll KNOW if and when he's ready b/c he'll SHOW you in obvious ways like um...TELLING YOU!! There won't be mystery. It's up to HIM to do that part of the story, PM, do you see why? Do you see why you'd have to have clarity from him? And so, you don't have to wonder and wonder anymore. Until if and when you get clarity from him that overcomes the OTHER obvious stuff...then you have your answer. You just don't like it. Sorry.
You'll get through this. You really will. Don't know why you are so obvious with the h about the school applications. It's too obviously a ploy/tactic instead of a real change in you. I did apply to schools for teaching jobs, in ITALY and really got truly excited that I could finally, for the first time EVER, work where I wanted to work. I said NOTHING to h about it. It was for ME and my freedom and finally seeing the upside of not having to put His career ahead of everything else. Yeah, he found out. He didn't say anything about it to me for months but he sure started coming around faster...
I meant it though. See? that's the difference. It was REAL change for me. Not a tactic. heck, it 's the one bad side of him and us restoring the M is that I can't go live there now. Dang! ALMOST makes you wish you could reconcile in 2 years....(kidding, mostly....)
But we ARE taking a trip next month to visit d20 and we're going to Italy then, together!! So do the things you can and want and must do, FOR YOU. You'll be surprised at what the universe throws your way.
(( j ))
PS now I feel like watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" again...yep, it's a chick flick night for sure!! If YOU have not seen it, for God's sake go get it!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
