A, You truly have not had a real "closure" to the death of your marriage. None of us had that and you'll eventually move on, but to say that you will completely get over it....no. There will always be this little piece/hole within that will never completely fill up again. You'll move on to the best of your ability, you will have to...for your family and especially for you.
As for your h, no one knows what will happen and if he will recover from his insanity of a crisis.
A, I wish that I could give you a hug. It's difficult, but you will find a way to survive. Be kind to yourself, cry when you need to and then look around you...the world continues on and the merry go round of life will beckon you once more. Hope on the ride and go w/the flow when you are ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
