M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Enjoying life and having as little contact with the wife as much as I can.
Still.
Only kids stuff, no nicey emails to her and when I see her when I pick up the kiddo's, I don't even acknowledge her. At least until she tells me hello first or tells me goodbye.
Last week was her week. She had D7 call me on Wed evening to let me know about an Open House at her school. I went to pick up D7 early, since I got out of work early. The wife had sent me an email asking if I was going after all. She said she was meet us there if I was getting her early. She ended up calling me while we were at the school already. She asked if I minded if she just went to her apartment and she'll start dinner.
"Do you mind if I just go home to the apartment and I'll get dinner ready. Just come after and y'all can eat dinner."
"Just go home. I'm here already. I'll get D7 back afterwards to eat."
When I get to the apartment, the kids come and tell me hello. I just stayed at the entrance. We were all having fun and they were hanging on me. The wife looks at me. Again, I hadn't acknowledged her.
"Are you hungry?" "No, thanks." "I made roast." "Thanks, but no."
She started to ask questions about the nights events and I told her.
Told the kids goodbye and left for home.
I was supposed to pick up all the kids last night. Talking to D12 around 7, she was feeling bad with really bad allergies. I asked her if she just wanted to stay at her moms one more night and she said yes. I talked to the wife and she told to just leave all the kids one more night. I can get them after school Monday(today).
I let them stay, so I went out. Again. Been going out a lot. Movies, dinner, Bday parties, hooking up with old friends. Have gone out every night the past 4 nights. Have already made plans for this coming weekend with the girls and have already made plans the weekend after that. Daddy time. Then two weeks after that for Fiesta.
Strangely, staying off of DB has helped.
The wife called me this morning to let me know that D12 actually stayed home from school because she still felt sick. Then she called around lunch time to let me know that she has a taker for the last pup that I was trying to give away. I didn't take the call, but when I called to check on D12, the wife was at the apartment making her some lunch during HER lunch. I ended up talking to her to ask about the pup. So we did talk a little about that.
And then I end the conversation, like I have been doing when I have to talk to her on the phone.
I have dropped the rope. I know that I have said that I don't want her anymore, but those times, it was said in anger. A reaction. Then I was right back, giving of myself.
Not this time. I really feel done with her.
And I feel good about it, because its to my benefit.
She's the one that loses.
Thanks for checking on me, folks. I wish I had time to check on my friends today, but I don't. Maybe tomorrow. Work has been keeping me busy too.
And thats a good thing. I know that once I start to look in on someone's thread, I can't stop reading and there goes my day.
For the peeps that have my email, keep 'em coming.
Blessings to you all. I still pray for EVERYONE on here.
Since my accident, I feel like I have been given an opportunity to take advantage of living life my way, so thats what I'm doing. I am a blessed man.
Oh yeah, I do get your responses on here sent to my email.
Last edited by hopeful4her; 03/23/0909:58 PM.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Thought I'd come by for a visit. At work today, but don't feel like working and no clients anyway.
Been keeping myself busy. Picked up my kids Tuesday evening after work. Today after work, going to take the girls to watch my old Rubgy bud play. My old team is in the state playoffs. Then maybe BBQ afterwards at his place and let our girls get to know each other. He has a D12 and D10 or 9. I remember when our wives(his is now ex, too) were pregnant. We were in the same hospital on the same day. They had a false alarm, we didn't. His daughter was born 2 days later.
Still having fun and living life. Haven't talked much to B like I had been. Is she upset with me that I haven't taken any steps to date her? Dunno. Have been having a lot of messaging on FB with a new old friend from high school. Sweet girl. Can I add an "A" to the list?
Wife has called me on a couple occasions. I think she cried the day I picked up the kids because I was so distant with her. Not rude. Never am. Just try and not even acknowledge her for the most part. She kept asking if I had groceries. I told her that I'll make do with what I have. I know she was going to offer to get me some because she now gets state assistance. She still gave me a little goody bag of some things to take with me. Lunch meat, bread, mac and cheese boxes. She even tried to offer me to take some fajitas she cooked the day before, for dinner that night. Leaving she asked about dog food too.
I had told Karen that I should have bet her money that she was going to email me on Wednesday. And she did. Asking how the kids were blah blah. She called later and I let it go to VM. Turns out that D12 got sick again, called her mom from school and the wife took her to the doctor. Just bad allergies.
On Thursday, I get another email from her. She forwarded an email. A story about a preemie baby, not expected to make it, fragile, who makes it and at the age of 6 smells an incoming rain and says that it smells like God. It was God who nurturing her as an infant because the parents were not able to even hold her, she was so fragile. It was a very touching email.
"Just thought I'd share this with you. I was touched by it. Hope your having a great day."
I didn't respond to it. Took all I had NOT to. Y'all know me.
She called me later saying that D7 had called her to have her pick her up, but that she was running slightly late. I told her that I was already on the way, so no need to. I would pick her up. She sounded slightly down. She told me she would call the Y and let them know to tell D7 that it would still be me to pick up.
She is goofy.
I have had some thoughts of her. We passed each other on the road yesterday evening. I was taking the kids to my folks to spend the night and she was on her way home.
Strange how the littlest things get the mind thinking.
But back to myself today.
Have a great weekend, people. I'm planning to.
Been thinking 'bout ya' Puppy. Hope your doing well. Talkin' 'bout dishwashers and all.
Think about EVERYONE actually. Kat, Jeff, LWB, Pup, Karen, Flynny, Suga, Mel.....you know who you are. Prayers to everyone.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Wife has called me on a couple occasions. I think she cried the day I picked up the kids because I was so distant with her. Not rude. Never am. Just try and not even acknowledge her for the most part. She kept asking if I had groceries. I told her that I'll make do with what I have. I know she was going to offer to get me some because she now gets state assistance. She still gave me a little goody bag of some things to take with me. Lunch meat, bread, mac and cheese boxes. She even tried to offer me to take some fajitas she cooked the day before, for dinner that night. Leaving she asked about dog food too.
I had told Karen that I should have bet her money that she was going to email me on Wednesday. And she did. Asking how the kids were blah blah. She called later and I let it go to VM. Turns out that D12 got sick again, called her mom from school and the wife took her to the doctor. Just bad allergies.
On Thursday, I get another email from her. She forwarded an email. A story about a preemie baby, not expected to make it, fragile, who makes it and at the age of 6 smells an incoming rain and says that it smells like God. It was God who nurturing her as an infant because the parents were not able to even hold her, she was so fragile. It was a very touching email.
"Just thought I'd share this with you. I was touched by it. Hope your having a great day." I didn't respond to it. Took all I had NOT to. Y'all know me.
She called me later saying that D7 had called her to have her pick her up, but that she was running slightly late. I told her that I was already on the way, so no need to. I would pick her up. She sounded slightly down. She told me she would call the Y and let them know to tell D7 that it would still be me to pick up.
She is goofy.
I have had some thoughts of her. We passed each other on the road yesterday evening. I was taking the kids to my folks to spend the night and she was on her way home.
Strange how the littlest things get the mind thinking.
But back to myself today.
Have a great weekend, people. I'm planning to.
Been thinking 'bout ya' Puppy. Hope your doing well. Talkin' 'bout dishwashers and all.
Think about EVERYONE actually. Kat, Jeff, LWB, Pup, Karen, Flynny, Suga, Mel.....you know who you are. Prayers to everyone.
H4H,
Actually, I think YOU'RE goofy, LOL. I still don't understand what your goal is here (which is fine -- it being YOUR goal and all, and not mine).
I thought when asked before, if your goal was to try and save your marriage or to just build a friendship with WW, you stated that your goal was more the latter. (Remember, you were challenged on this b/c some of us maintained that you were too friendly with WW, not DB and all in that you weren't detaching).
Which, again -- is fine.
Except that now I see where you keep saying that you're not responding to her, not taking her calls, being aloof, etc., etc.
WTF???
"Detachment" doesn't mean being a dikk, and you shouldn't be aiming for detachment anyway, unless you're still trying to DB your marriage. Are you???
I have always had a problem with wayward wives who stay with the OM but want to stay friends with their BH's! It almost seems to make everything OK for the wayward if you stay best buddies while boinking the OM. I can almost here them saying "See everything worked out for the best!"(For her of course) "We maintained our friendship", or "Lets stay friends for the kidsake" (Isn't it better for the kids to stay married??).
If it is truly the end of the marriage...then yeah not being hostile to each other (which you two are not) is best. So check! You have achieved that. But friends??? As long as the OM she had during the marriage is around then no way should you accept that!!! If she truly wants to be friends but divorced then drop the OM...then there is a clear slate to maintain the friendship!!
It's amazing how the OM can completely cloud a normally rational person's judgment. I heard it once on here, but it sounds like the WAW w/ OM that still wants to be friends with LBS wants her cake and to eat it too.
That's my sitch as well.
H40 (me) W34 (WAW) S6 T11 M10
Feb09: Need a break bomb Mar09: I moved to apartment to GAL, PMA, NMMNG Apr09: WAW 'dating' OM at work, positive around me lately.
